{"id":316847,"date":"2024-10-15T10:28:52","date_gmt":"2024-10-15T14:28:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.oviahealth.com\/?post_type=article&p=316847"},"modified":"2025-06-11T12:22:39","modified_gmt":"2025-06-11T16:22:39","slug":"my-struggle-to-find-birth-control-thats-a-good-fit-for-me-postpartum-2","status":"publish","type":"article","link":"https:\/\/www.oviahealth.com\/guide\/316847\/my-struggle-to-find-birth-control-thats-a-good-fit-for-me-postpartum-2\/","title":{"rendered":"My struggle to find birth control that’s a good fit for me postpartum"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
\n

Rochaun Meadows-Fernandez Contributing writer<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

Right now, just about all things reproduction are a very real source of terror for me.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m six months postpartum and have no intention of getting pregnant again, but I can\u2019t find a birth control option I\u2019m happy with. Currently, I\u2019m using the often unreliable Lactational Amenorrhea Method, so ovulation and menstruation could return at any moment; I know I\u2019m running out of time to make a decision. <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I\u2019ve been considering a different birth control since the birth of my first child \u2013 though I stopped when my husband and I decided to have another. None of the options out there feels like a good fit for me. But the idea of more kids doesn\u2019t sound hot either.<\/span><\/p>\n

I love my children, but with a military husband and a work from home schedule, I don\u2019t think I have the bandwidth for a third child. And for the last few years, I\u2019ve been intentionally limiting my professional success \u2013 like by not pursuing graduate school \u2013 because reaching for more ambitious opportunities might clash with my mothering responsibilities. Unfortunately, history is littered with tales of women \u2013 especially Black women like me \u2013 forgoing professional potential for parenthood. I know I have immeasurable promise, but I feel too preoccupied with child-rearing to access my potential. <\/span><\/p>\n

Birth control is one of many innovations that are viewed as \u201ca great equalizer\u201d between the sexes. It has done amazing things for women in pursuit of reproductive agency since birth control is a wonderful way for many women to prevent unwanted pregnancies. And yet. We live in a technological age filled with constant innovation, but we haven\u2019t yet developed birth control free of side effects?<\/span><\/p>\n

Everyone’s body is different, and there’s no one size fits all<\/em> method of birth control \u2013 it’s such a personal choice. I\u2019m always looking for an option that works as well for me as the fertility awareness method did, which I used before having children. I loved being in tune with my body, using cervical cues and discharge to avoid sex during fertile windows, and sharing the responsibility of preventing pregnancy with my husband. But until I get a regular period again, that\u2019s not an option.<\/p>\n

And all other options simply seem to come up short for me.<\/span><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t want to use spermicidal creams and liquids because they irritate my skin. <\/span><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t want to take pills that have a history of impacting my emotional stability when I already suffer from intermittent depression. And breastfeeding makes me stay away from hormonal options since some \u2013 like those containing estrogen \u2013 have the potential to decrease milk production, and that\u2019s a chance I\u2019m not willing to take.<\/span><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t want to get an IUD because I know people who\u2019ve experienced complications that are extremely rare but are also extremely scary. As a woman whose life has been filled with \u201crare\u201d occurrences, I\u2019m skeptical of the probability of nearly everything; it\u2019s easy to say only one in 1,000 women have issues, until you\u2019re that \u201cone.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m also afraid of another pregnancy because my last two came with health complications \u2013 a potentially life-threatening complication called retained placenta, that aforementioned \u201crare\u201d occurrence \u2013 that if left untreated could have cost me my life. <\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Everyone’s body is different, and there’s no one size fits all<\/em> method of birth control \u2013 it’s such a personal choice.<\/h4>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Clearly, the stakes are high for my physical and mental health. <\/span><\/p>\n

And more than being frustrated, I\u2019m infuriated that we still live in an era of such reproductive inequity. The unequal responsibility of pregnancy prevention falls almost exclusively on women, and society expects women to carry the emotional and often physical burdens of an anti-parent society. <\/span><\/p>\n

Real reproductive freedom for me also wouldn\u2019t involve being terrified that if we unexpectedly have another baby, I could end up losing my life; the maternal mortality crisis in America is real and is an especially severe threat for Black women, who are three to four times more likely to die because of pregnancy-related complications. This is potentially a life or death choice for me. <\/span><\/p>\n

So a few times a week I talk with friends about their preferred birth control. I read those birth control info pamphlets everyone else throws in the trash. And I google the most effective birth control methods so frequently that my browser autopopulates my searches. But even after an in-depth conversation with my OB\/GYN shortly after giving birth, the struggle to find birth control that\u2019s a good fit for me is still driving me nuts. <\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve weighed the pros and cons. The truth is, I already know what I want. I want none of them. But I\u2019m a sexually active mother of two in a society where women\u2019s emotional labor is high and student loan interest is higher. And, of course, there\u2019s the small potential that pregnancy could still happen no matter what I try. <\/span><\/p>\n

As I await egalitarian reproduction, I\u2019ll continue researching and stressing. But I\u2019m moving as slowly as possible to choose a new birth control. In the back of my mind, I know that if I stall long enough, my period will return. And when that happens, I can go back to the fertility awareness method to stay in control of my reproductive choices in the way I’d prefer. It\u2019s risky. But it\u2019s a chance I\u2019m willing to take.<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

About the author:<\/strong>
\nRochaun Meadows-Fernandez is a writer who specializes in sociology, health, and parenting. Her work has appeared in Healthline, Yes! Magazine, HuffPost, Allure, and many other publications. Follow her on Facebook<\/a>, Twitter<\/a> or check out her website<\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n

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