{"id":270886,"date":"2023-01-26T12:23:46","date_gmt":"2023-01-26T17:23:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.oviahealth.com\/?post_type=article&p=270886"},"modified":"2025-04-22T11:01:47","modified_gmt":"2025-04-22T15:01:47","slug":"kami-wigginton","status":"publish","type":"article","link":"https:\/\/www.oviahealth.com\/guide\/270886\/kami-wigginton\/","title":{"rendered":"Identify your advocate"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

An interview with Kami Wigginton<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kami Wigginton is a sales executive. She\u2019s also a mom to two girls, Simone and Sutton. Here, Kami shares her family building story \u2014 the unexpected twists, sibling dynamics, and her advice to other Black women and families navigating the healthcare system.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Can you tell me a bit about your family planning journey? Did you always know you wanted to have kids?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

I don’t know that \u201cMom\u201d was always at the top of my priority list. Motherhood was a bit of a delayed experience because there were other things at the top of my goal list that I wanted to come first \u2014 like going off to college and starting my career. I wanted to do that before prioritizing starting a family. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

And so, for me, it was about it being the right time in life, but I didn\u2019t know what that journey would look like \u2014 or whether it would be easy or hard. I had my first child at 31 and my second at 38 (to my surprise!). I was fortunate that both pregnancies happened naturally, but definitely not on my timeline.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yes, for such a naturally forward-looking and career-oriented person, what was your reaction to that second pregnancy?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

I am a very type A person, and I had everything planned out. We had actually just relocated from Kentucky down to Tennessee \u2014 and I had thrown away all the baby clothes. I thought it just wasn’t going to happen, and I had accepted that. Plus, the first pregnancy was hard on me, and the idea of a geriatric pregnancy alongside my career was intimidating. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

And so, we were planning on skipping the whole pregnancy phase and adopting a toddler. I set up an adoption appointment, but by the time it came around (and after six and a half years of trying), I was pregnant! God laughs at my plans! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

How did your second pregnancy compare to your first? <\/h2>\n\n\n\n

As most moms know, no pregnancy is the same. But the second time I went in with my eyes wide open. And so I was prepared for it in many ways, but I wasn\u2019t completely mentally ready to do it all over again. That said, once I got over the initial shock of the pregnancy, it was relatively easy. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

What was it like telling your daughter you are going to have another baby?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

That was a good part. Simone was six at the time so she was in her baby doll stage. She welcomed it and we did all the sibling classes at the hospital. It was very cute. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a blog post you wrote for Ovia, you discuss feeling as though your care team wasn\u2019t addressing your pain. You wrote: \u201cAnd I kept wondering, \u2018Is it me, or is it something else? Is it because I\u2019m Black?\u2019 Even having that thought is traumatic.\u201d Can you tell me more about that?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Pregnancy is a unique experience where you get nine months to really know your physician, so it’s important that you build rapport and a relationship, and that you watch to see how they address your questions along the way. It\u2019s also important that you\u2019re not scared to switch providers if you\u2019re feeling like it\u2019s not a good fit. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

My primary OBs were great for both pregnancies. They respected me. But then on the day of (i.e. when things get real!) there are different players in the room. Advocating for yourself, having a voice in the room, raising your hand, it\u2019s all okay. You have to ask the questions and listen to your body. My natural personality type and the fact that I work in the industry helped me feel informed and able to advocate for myself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What\u2019s your advice to someone who feels less comfortable pushing back or speaking up?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Partnership. Get someone in your family who is comfortable speaking up and who can pay attention to the signs. After all, you\u2019re busy having a baby! A doula is a great option if you’re looking for someone who is supportive and an expert, especially if it\u2019s your first or second time. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

And then identify your advocate. For me it was my doctor. She had me change hospitals to make sure I could deliver in the way she recommended. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are so many pros and cons to having babies earlier and later in your reproductive years. Can you tell me how age has played a role in your parenting, if at all?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Going into OB appointments and signing my date of birth (in the 70s) while everyone else is in the 90s or 2000s sometimes made me think, \u201cWhy are we doing this?\u201d But the benefits are that you\u2019re calmer and more experienced. With my second child, I felt more comfortable, had more financial stability, and just had more information about what to expect. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The hard part is the energy now that they’re here \u2013 keeping up, staying active, and taking care of myself so that I\u2019m here for the journey. But you\u2019ve got to have grace with yourself.  I definitely think my older child got a different experience than my younger one is getting, but I\u2019m not stressed about it; she has someone to play with! I\u2019m always reminding my older daughter, \u201cThis is the little sister you prayed for! Go play with her!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This article is part of Ovia’s Black Birth Experience series<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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