{"id":260951,"date":"2022-02-09T17:54:06","date_gmt":"2022-02-09T22:54:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.oviahealth.com\/?post_type=article&p=260951"},"modified":"2023-06-12T22:27:13","modified_gmt":"2023-06-13T02:27:13","slug":"dear-ovia-how-to-get-my-partner-involved-in-baby-preparations","status":"publish","type":"article","link":"https:\/\/www.oviahealth.com\/guide\/260951\/dear-ovia-how-to-get-my-partner-involved-in-baby-preparations\/","title":{"rendered":"Dear Ovia, How to get my partner involved in baby preparations?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Dear Ovia is an ongoing series where we answer your love and relationship questions. To submit a question, send us a message on Instagram<\/a>. We answer all questions anonymously.<\/em><\/em><\/em><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dear Ovia, I feel like my partner isn\u2019t putting any effort into preparing for our baby. I\u2019m running around trying to make sure everything is organized. I\u2019m reading up on parenting styles. And he\u2019s just so low key about it. It\u2019s annoying me\/dampening my excitement. How can I get him to care more?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

I hear you on this one! It can feel especially overwhelming and annoying because when you\u2019re pregnant, you\u2019re also doing the lion\u2019s share of the work. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Some food for thought<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

If you enjoy this preparation, don\u2019t let his perceived lack of excitement about it dampen your spirits. Talk to friends, family or whoever else gets excited about buying furniture, clothes, books, etc. Think about times in your relationship when you didn\u2019t have the same level of enthusiasm for something. It\u2019s okay to be different \u2014 even though baby related things seem inherently exciting to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lack of organization or prep at this point doesn\u2019t equal not caring about this new chapter. Pregnancy often feels a little less real for the non-pregnant parent. There may be some major anxiety or uncertainty at play that he doesn\u2019t care to burden you with. Many partners will also say that time is not as pressing \u2014 he may feel like he has AAAAAAGES to get things done, whereas you know that\u2019s not the case! This is not meant as a series of excuses, but more of an encouragement to allow a clean slate when you begin talking (which is what you\u2019ll need to do).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, how can you get him more involved moving forward? <\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Ask for what you need! Are you bored of picking baby items<\/a>? Do you need something picked up or put together? Whatever you want off of your plate \u2014 delegate. We can all get tripped up on delegation (shouldn\u2019t he know what to do without you asking him anyway?), but if you can start to let that go, you can begin to have fun with knocking things off your list as a team. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you\u2019re worried he won\u2019t get a task done, I\u2019d encourage you to say something like, \u201cThe stress of \u201cX\u201d and remembering these details is a lot. I\u2019m asking you to do this, and I\u2019m not going to remind you. It\u2019s off my list as of now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you\u2019re excited about preparing for baby as a way to spend time together, frame it that way. \u201cI\u2019d love to do this class together so that we can both learn about newborn care.\u201d Finding ways to come together, even if it\u2019s small \u2014 like listening to a podcast or picking out family pjs \u2014 just get the ball rolling. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I want to end by saying this is not predictive in any way of how your partner will be as a parent! This is a very different phase than the one that\u2019s coming, and it may be that his time to shine is yet to come.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Read more from this series <\/h3>\n\n\n\n