{"id":260944,"date":"2022-02-09T17:45:48","date_gmt":"2022-02-09T22:45:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.oviahealth.com\/?post_type=article&p=260944"},"modified":"2023-02-14T13:57:19","modified_gmt":"2023-02-14T18:57:19","slug":"dear-ovia-dreams-of-a-big-family","status":"publish","type":"article","link":"https:\/\/www.oviahealth.com\/guide\/260944\/dear-ovia-dreams-of-a-big-family\/","title":{"rendered":"Dear Ovia, Dreams of a big family"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Dear Ovia is an ongoing series where we answer your love and relationship questions. To submit a question, send us a message on Instagram<\/a>. We answer all questions anonymously.<\/em><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Dear Ovia, My husband and I have been trying for a third kid for the last year and a half. He wants to stop trying and says it\u2019s taking away from us appreciating the beautiful babies we do have. But I\u2019ve always dreamed of a big family and I don’t feel ready to give that up. <\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

First of all, secondary infertility<\/a> isn\u2019t something we talk about enough \u2014 and I hope this answer helps you know for certain that you\u2019re not alone! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

So many families hesitate to talk about fertility struggles. And when you\u2019re already parents you may feel the social pressure to just be grateful for the kiddos you have (which I am sure you are!). I\u2019m here to tell you that feeling like there is an empty seat at your family\u2019s table is a valid feeling whether you have 0, 1, 2, 3 or 9 children. The tough part is that you\u2019re both having valid feelings \u2014 and they\u2019re not the same. There may be middle ground in taking a break from TTC for a period of time or continuing to try for \u201cX\u201d number of months before starting a break. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

At the end of the day, it sounds like expanding your family is something that would make you both happy if it could happen with the wave of a wand. So, try to focus your conversations with him around the challenges of the journey (the process of TTC), rather than the destination (the decision to have another baby). <\/p>\n\n\n\n

In any case, you need an ongoing and open dialogue, but it can be hard to find a good and private time to talk (especially when you have other children in the house). It\u2019s common for people to either avoid tough subjects or to bring them up at times that are not conducive to conversation (like when you\u2019re getting into bed). <\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you\u2019re avoiding the conversation or one of you is bringing it up at less-than-ideal times, it\u2019s essential that you create a space where you can both actively listen to each other. Try scheduling some time to talk, that way you can both come to the conversation prepared to share and listen. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Having a disagreement hanging over your heads makes the whole situation more stressful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Some tips:<\/h2>\n\n\n\n