{"id":111407,"date":"2021-02-24T08:12:14","date_gmt":"2021-02-24T13:12:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp.oviahealth.com\/guide\/111407\/pregnancy-maintaining-healthy-relationships\/"},"modified":"2025-06-11T12:21:35","modified_gmt":"2025-06-11T16:21:35","slug":"pregnancy-maintaining-healthy-relationships","status":"publish","type":"article","link":"https:\/\/www.oviahealth.com\/guide\/111407\/pregnancy-maintaining-healthy-relationships\/","title":{"rendered":"Maintaining healthy relationships"},"content":{"rendered":"<h6 class=\"rte-media-heading\"><\/h6>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Even the happiest, most joyful and loving relationships require work and need maintenance from time to time. The ins and outs of daily life can leave us feeling disconnected and distant from our partner, which can lead to conflict. Conflict within a relationship is normal and expected, and can even be beneficial to a relationship when it is respectful. While no relationship is perfect, healthy relationships usually have a combination of the following traits:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><strong>Trust<\/strong><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">: Building trust in a relationship happens gradually over time and requires a mutual commitment. It is an important part of knowing that you can be open and vulnerable to share intimate thoughts, feelings, and experiences with your partner.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><strong>Open and Honest Communication<\/strong><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">: Communication is essential in relationships, and yet it isn\u2019t always easy. Being able to talk openly to your partner about your needs is important and helps to resolve conflict.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><strong>Mutual Respect and Boundaries<\/strong><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">: People in healthy relationships are able to set clear and respectful boundaries with each other around their own needs and are able to respect their partner\u2019s boundaries even if they don\u2019t understand their perspective.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><strong>Affection and Interest<\/strong><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">: Healthy relationships are dependent on showing affection and taking interest in the other person.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Sometimes it can be difficult to put forth the effort it takes to maintain a relationship. Time, family, work, and other commitments can strain relationships and disconnect us from the people we love the most. It is important to take time to prioritize your relationship and to reconnect with your partner when needed. The tips below can help to successfully manage conflict and to help grow and strengthen your relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<h4><strong>Building Trust<\/strong><\/h4>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Trust is built on consistency from positive behaviors over time. When trust has been broken, it may take time to heal and to build that trust again. Showing up when you say you will, keeping sensitive information private, respecting boundaries, and being honest about your feelings are all ways to help rebuild trust.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Say what you mean, and do what you say<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Admit mistakes- No one is perfect and we all make mistakes. Admitting that you have made a mistake, taking ownership, and apologizing goes a long way in building trust.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h4><strong>Communication<\/strong><\/h4>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Strike while the iron is cold- You may have heard the saying \u201cStrike while the iron is hot\u201d and while this can be helpful in other situations, it often doesn\u2019t apply to having a difficult conversation. Difficult conversations can get heated quickly. Finding the right time when everyone\u2019s calm and not distracted, rushed, or stressed can be helpful. Consider scheduling time to talk if one or both of you are particularly busy.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Talk face to face- Tone, body language, and facial expressions can be hard to interpret through texts or email and sometimes can be misinterpreted. If you have difficulty talking face to face, it may be helpful to write down what you want to say while you are talking to your partner so that you don\u2019t forget key points you want to make. You can also talk while walking or driving if a little less eye contact feels more manageable. Ending the conversation with eye contact or physical touch can be a great way to sum things up and release tension.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Avoid Attacks- Using \u201cI feel&#8230;\u201d statements without blaming or shaming your partner can be helpful in having a productive conversation. When people feel attacked, they become defensive and are less likely to engage in a productive conversation. For example, saying, \u201cI feel we have been more disconnected lately,\u201d rather than \u201cYou are always so distant,\u201d can allow space for your partner to engage in the conversation in a different way.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Be honest- If something is bothering you, it is important to share it, even if it is difficult. Your partner cannot read your mind, even though you may wish they could.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Take a break- If the conversation gets too heated, you can always ask for some time before continuing the conversation. Taking time to calm down can prevent creating more conflict.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Check in with your body. If you\u2019re tense, take a few deep breaths or walk outside briefly. Releasing some of the physical tension can make verbal communication less intense.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Listen- So often, we are busy forming our reply to what the other person is saying that we don\u2019t really hear them. You don\u2019t have to agree with everything they are saying but try to find a piece of what they are saying that you can build upon. <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Saying nothing is a powerful way to continue a conversation by allowing the other person to explore their feelings out loud.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Negotiate- Sometimes, offering up a solution that meets both needs can be helpful. Can\u2019t think of one? Ask the other person if they have any ideas on how you can come to a compromise.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Be a Broken Record- It is easy to get thrown off track when a partner tries to bring up unrelated issues during a conversation. Having a short sentence prepared that you can repeat each time when this happens can be helpful. For example, \u201cWe can talk about who takes the trash out later, right now, we\u2019re talking about how we can connect more often.\u201d<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Use communication as a form of meaningful connection- At times, communication can limit our ability to be seen or heard. Oftentimes we go about our day without really connecting with people. How many times have you passed someone and asked, \u201cHey, how are you?\u201d only to get a response of \u201cI\u2019m good\u201d or \u201cfine\u201d and wondered if the other person was actually fine or good? At times, we follow social norms that can leave us, or the other person, feeling unseen and unheard by others. By checking in with your partner to see how they really are, you let them know you want to connect with them in a different way.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h4><strong>Mutual Respect and Boundaries<\/strong><\/h4>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Assume the other person is doing the best they can with what they have. When you assume that people have negative intentions, it shifts the lens of respect, and you assume the other person is trying to be disrespectful or hurtful in some way. If you assume the other person has positive intentions and is doing the best they can with a situation, it then becomes a problem to work on together rather than separately.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Show empathy- be able to put yourself in your partner\u2019s shoes and see the experience from their point of view and background experiences. This does not mean that you have to agree with them, but that you are able to see their point of view and how they came to a decision or conclusion.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Boundaries are based on your values and what is important to you. When boundaries are not clear, it is easy for someone to impose on those values without even knowing. Being aware of your limits and in touch with your emotions can help guide you to knowing where your boundaries are so that you can communicate them to your partner.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h4><strong>Affection and Interest<\/strong><\/h4>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Going back and remembering why you fell in love in the first place can be helpful in decreasing tension in relationships. Try to think of things you and your partner used to do before daily stressors began to creep in. Make a plan to engage in some of those activities.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Sending quick texts letting your partner know you are thinking about them during the day<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A small touch or wink when you pass them<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Engaging in small acts of love, often can build intimacy and help the other person to know that you see them and value them.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The key to healthy relationships is putting in the time and energy it takes to maintain them. You and your partner are each responsible for your relationship, one person can never take full responsibility. However, at times, one partner may be carrying a heavier share of the load. This may be okay from time to time, however, finding balance in how this is done is part of the work within a relationship. Sometimes, couples need assistance in figuring out how to manage this balance or have difficulty in one of the areas above. If this is happening to you and your partner, finding a couple\u2019s therapist in your area may be helpful. Many couples who go to therapy find that it increases and strengthens the bond they share. You do not have to wait until your relationship is on the brink of disaster. Many couples with strong relationships go to therapy just to make sure that their relationship is as good as it can be. Times of transition (like when a couple is TTC, pregnant or postpartum) are good opportunities to see a therapist for a \u201ctune-up\u201d.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h4><strong>Recognizing Unhealthy Relationships and Emergency Resources<\/strong><\/h4>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">While healthy relationships can require a lot of work, it is also important to know when a relationship may cross over to being unsafe. Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) is a pattern of behaviors used by one partner to maintain power and control over another partner in an intimate relationship. These behaviors may include, but are not limited to:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Repeatedly using words, yelling, or screaming in a way that frightens you, threatens you, puts you down, or makes you feel rejected<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Making you afraid that you could be physically hurt<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Threatening you with a weapon to scare or hurt you<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Forcing or coercing you to have sex or controlling or denying you access to birth control\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Slapping, kicking, pushing, choking, or punching you<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">According to Futures Without Violence, an organization working to prevent and end\u00a0<em class=\"TNT2l AStapd\">violence<\/em> against women and children around the world, 1 in 4 women in the U.S. have experienced violence by a partner at some point in their lives. It is important to know that this is not your fault and you are not alone. If you, or someone you know, ever feels unsafe in their relationship, there is help.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The National Domestic Violence Hotline is available 24\/7 in English and Spanish by phone, text, or live chat:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">To reach them by phone, call\u00a0<a href=\"tel:18007997233\">1-800-799-7233<\/a><\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you are unable to speak safely, you can log onto thehotline.org and click the \u201cChat Now\u201d button for a live chat on their website<\/span><\/li>\n<li>You can access their text line by texting &#8220;START&#8221; to 88788<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h4><strong>Resources<\/strong><\/h4>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/Thehotline.org\">Thehotline.org<\/a>\u00a0&#8211; National Domestic Violence Hotline<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/Loveisrespect.org\">Loveisrespect.org<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/Futureswithoutviolence.org\">Futureswithoutviolence.org<\/a><\/p>\n<p>Santuaryforfamilies.org<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.gottman.com\/\">The Gottman Institute<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.joinonelove.org\/learn\/the-new-normal-maintaining-healthy-relationships-from-home\/\">One Love Foundation<\/a><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">State-specific resources<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n<p><em>Reviewed by the Ovia Health Clinical Team<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Read more<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.oviahealth.com\/guide\/111411\/parenting-recognizing-unsafe-relationships\/\">Recognizing unsafe relationships<\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.oviahealth.com\/guide\/10125\/relationships-during-pregnancy\/\">Relationships during pregnancy<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Even the happiest, most joyful, and loving relationships require work and need maintenance from time to time. The ins and outs of daily life can leave us feeling disconnected and distant from our partner, which can lead to conflict.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":233857,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ovia_author_name":"","ovia_author_prefix":"","ovia_author_image":"","ovia_content_type_id":"175","ovia_product_mode":"3","ovia_days_from_signup":"","ovia_days_from_lmp":"124","ovia_days_from_baby_birth":"","ovia_days_from_enroll":"","ovia_health_module_days_from":"","ovia_article_for_email_days_from":"124","ovia_health_module":"","ovia_legacy_id2":"","ovia_ttc":"","ovia_article_subtype":"","ovia_health_symptom":"","ovia_partner_id":"","ovia_partner_custom_group":"","ovia_legacy_category":"10","ovia_legacy_category2":"","ovia_content_url_id":"111407","ovia_include_share_buttons":"","ovia_fertility_goal":"","ovia_secondary_module":"","ovia_trimester":"","ovia_child_age":"","ovia_share_image":"","ovia_more_menu_image":"","ovia_button1_url":"","ovia_days_from_postpartum":"","footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"fert-category":[],"preg-category":[74,65,56],"parent-category":[],"fert-tag":[],"preg-tag":[288,290,289],"parent-tag":[],"class_list":["post-111407","article","type-article","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","preg-category-life-during-pregnancy","preg-category-sex-during-pregnancy","preg-category-staying-healthy-while-pregnant","preg-tag-communication-with-partner","preg-tag-consent","preg-tag-intimate-partner-violence"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Maintaining healthy relationships - Ovia Health<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Even the happiest, most joyful, and loving relationships require work and need maintenance from time to time. 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