{"id":105714,"date":"2018-11-14T08:14:29","date_gmt":"2018-11-14T13:14:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp.oviahealth.com\/guide\/105714\/pregnancy-gender-disappointment\/"},"modified":"2024-11-05T11:22:09","modified_gmt":"2024-11-05T16:22:09","slug":"pregnancy-sex-disappointment","status":"publish","type":"article","link":"https:\/\/www.oviahealth.com\/guide\/105714\/pregnancy-sex-disappointment\/","title":{"rendered":"Getting through disappointment with the sex of my child"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<h6 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><em>Navigating feelings of disappointment when it comes to the sex of your child is a deeply personal experience that many parents go through, and it&#8217;s completely normal to experience a mix of emotions during this time.\u00a0Here, Shifrah shares her family&#8217;s experience.<\/em><\/h6>\n\n\n<div class=\"content-author\">\n<div class=\"content-author__wrapper\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"content-author__image\" src=\"https:\/\/ovia-assets.s3.amazonaws.com\/content_platform\/25437\/article_103507_Shifrah_combiths.jpg\" alt=\"Shifrah Combiths\" \/>\n<p class=\"content-author__name content-author__name--guest\">Shifrah Combiths<span class=\"content-author__title\">Freelance writer, editor, and blogger<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Disappointment about your baby&#8217;s sex isn\u2019t a topic that appears at the forefront of literature about pregnancy and childbirth, but for anyone who\u2019s experienced it, it can be a major part of pregnancy. Maybe the topic isn\u2019t discussed because people feel guilty for being in any way disappointed about their child. Denying the feelings doesn\u2019t help, though, and knowing that you\u2019re not alone can help you come to terms not just with the disappointment, but the complicated feelings you think you shouldn\u2019t have.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I know all this because I experienced it myself. I have a lovely girl and three precious boys. Long before I was pregnant with our fourth child, I knew I wanted a second daughter. I have a sister and I wanted my daughter to have a sister as well.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">My ultrasound at 13 weeks came with the sonographer\u2019s \u201c90 percent\u201d certainty that we were going to have a third boy and I began to adjust my vision of what our family was going to look like. I couldn\u2019t quite let go of that 10 percent hope. And, yes, I felt incredibly guilty that a part of me wanted something different than the baby that was in my belly. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What made my experience even trickier was that my daughter desperately wanted a sister as well <\/span>\u2014 <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">and she wasn\u2019t as subtle about hiding her feelings of disappointment. Every time she got annoyed with her brothers, she\u2019d proclaim, often in tears, \u201cThis is why I don\u2019t want another brother!\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I was in the odd position of helping her work through feelings that I myself hadn\u2019t worked through. We brought all the children to the 20-week ultrasound and I hoped that my daughter seeing the baby on the ultrasound screen would help her feel happier about the baby. No such luck. We got definitive \u201cboy\u201d news and, while I was somewhat relieved to not have cling to a 10 percent chance anymore, it was a bitter pill for her. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Interestingly, I think being forced to vocalize the positive as I helped my daughter through her disappointment also helped me address my own. Hearing myself say things like, \u201cOur baby is part of our family. He can\u2019t help that he\u2019s a boy! He deserves our love\u201d and \u201cJust you wait. You\u2019ll fall in love with him as soon as you see him\u201d was a way to grapple with feelings that I could barely bring myself to acknowledge. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I\u2019m sure I don\u2019t even need to say that I loved my baby, boy or not, before he was born. But as soon as he was born, all the inner whispers of wishing he had maybe been a girl utterly evaporated. I fell head over heels in love with him and, instantly, couldn\u2019t imagine our family without him. I\u2019m happy to report that my daughter experienced the same as soon as she held her baby brother. She told me repeatedly, \u201cMommy, I love him so much. Mommy, I don\u2019t care that he\u2019s a boy.\u201d Me neither, baby girl. He\u2019s exactly what we were missing.<\/span><\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p><strong>About the author:<br \/><\/strong>Shifrah lives in Tallahasse, FL with her husband, four children, two cats, and dog. In the midst of mothering and writing, she enjoys reading, lifestyle photography, sewing, going to the beach, and documenting it all in pocket scrapbooks. She drinks her coffee black.<\/p>\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;I have a lovely girl and three precious boys. Long before I was pregnant with our fourth child, I knew I wanted a second daughter.&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":233679,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ovia_author_name":"Shifrah Combiths","ovia_author_prefix":"","ovia_author_image":"https:\/\/ovia-assets.s3.amazonaws.com\/content_platform\/27646\/article_105714_Shifrah-01.jpg","ovia_content_type_id":"175","ovia_product_mode":"3","ovia_days_from_signup":"","ovia_days_from_lmp":"126","ovia_days_from_baby_birth":"","ovia_days_from_enroll":"","ovia_health_module_days_from":"","ovia_article_for_email_days_from":"","ovia_health_module":"","ovia_legacy_id2":"","ovia_ttc":"","ovia_article_subtype":"","ovia_health_symptom":"","ovia_partner_id":"","ovia_partner_custom_group":"","ovia_legacy_category":"2","ovia_legacy_category2":"","ovia_content_url_id":"105714","ovia_include_share_buttons":"","ovia_fertility_goal":"","ovia_secondary_module":"","ovia_trimester":"","ovia_child_age":"","ovia_share_image":"","ovia_more_menu_image":"","ovia_button1_url":"","ovia_days_from_postpartum":"","footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"fert-category":[],"preg-category":[51,49,52],"parent-category":[],"fert-tag":[],"preg-tag":[],"parent-tag":[],"class_list":["post-105714","article","type-article","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","preg-category-first-trimester","preg-category-pregnancy-by-week","preg-category-second-trimester"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Getting through disappointment with the sex of my child - Ovia Health<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"&quot;I have a lovely girl and three precious boys. 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