{"id":103164,"date":"2019-05-03T04:13:36","date_gmt":"2019-05-03T08:13:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp.oviahealth.com\/guide\/103164\/parenting-apologizing-to-your-toddler\/"},"modified":"2023-03-01T16:48:15","modified_gmt":"2023-03-01T21:48:15","slug":"parenting-apologizing-to-your-toddler","status":"publish","type":"article","link":"https:\/\/www.oviahealth.com\/guide\/103164\/parenting-apologizing-to-your-toddler\/","title":{"rendered":"Apologizing to your toddler"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Saying &#8220;I&#8217;m sorry&#8221; to your toddler can be hard. On one hand, you feel like you want to apologize for everything bad they have to go through. On the other hand, you want to remain an authority figure and someone <span class=\"pronoun-they\" data-pronoun=\"they\">they sees<\/span> as a perfect role model, incapable of wrongdoing. Knowing when to apologize, and how to do it, can actually strengthen your relationship with <span class=\"pronoun-baby\" data-pronoun=\"baby\">Baby<\/span>, and models positive behaviors <span class=\"pronoun-they\" data-pronoun=\"they\">they will<\/span> use for <span class=\"pronoun-their\" data-pronoun=\"their\">their<\/span> whole life.<\/span><\/p>\n<h4><strong>When to apologize <\/strong><\/h4>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You&#8217;re the grown-up, and you know that sometimes you&#8217;ve got to say you&#8217;re sorry. Sometimes you don\u2019t, though, and apologizing for things that aren\u2019t your fault is a common verbal tic. It&#8217;s important to save apologies for those moments when they&#8217;re necessary, and hold your ground when they aren&#8217;t. When you&#8217;re disciplining or comforting <span class=\"pronoun-baby\" data-pronoun=\"baby\">Baby<\/span>, don&#8217;t feel like you have to apologize for <span class=\"pronoun-their\" data-pronoun=\"their\">their<\/span> discomfort. In both of these instances what&#8217;s happened is outside your control. Either <span class=\"pronoun-their\" data-pronoun=\"their\">their<\/span> own behavior has lead to consequences, or <span class=\"pronoun-they\" data-pronoun=\"they\">they&#8217;s<\/span> feeling scared or hurt by something you can&#8217;t stop. In either case, taking responsibility for the situation by apologizing won\u2019t help.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Instead, make use of apologies when they&#8217;ll matter most. That&#8217;s usually when you&#8217;ve made some kind of mistake that <span class=\"pronoun-baby\" data-pronoun=\"baby\">Baby<\/span> will benefit from you apology for.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>When you parent in a way that you don&#8217;t like: <\/strong><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Everyone occasionally says or does things they don&#8217;t mean to. Being a parent is stressful, and stress makes you prone to outbursts and overreactions that you don&#8217;t intend to have. In the moments that you aren&#8217;t being the parent you&#8217;d like to be, the best thing you can do is regroup, get calm, and then apologize. This will teach <span class=\"pronoun-baby\" data-pronoun=\"baby\">Baby<\/span> that the way you acted in these moments isn\u2019t the way you should act, and that you\u2019re aware of that. By teaching <span class=\"pronoun-them\" data-pronoun=\"them\">them<\/span> that, you\u2019re giving <span class=\"pronoun-them\" data-pronoun=\"them\">them<\/span> a model for how <span class=\"pronoun-they\" data-pronoun=\"they\">they should<\/span> treat other people, and how <span class=\"pronoun-they\" data-pronoun=\"they\">they should<\/span> let <span class=\"pronoun-themselves\" data-pronoun=\"themselves\">themselves<\/span> be treated.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><strong>When you do or say something by accident: <\/strong><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Whether it&#8217;s letting a swear word slip, or play that results in accidental injury, plenty of parents find themselves needing to apologize. Just because you know that something wasn&#8217;t intentional doesn&#8217;t mean that <span class=\"pronoun-baby\" data-pronoun=\"baby\">Baby<\/span> will immediately understand that. By letting <span class=\"pronoun-them\" data-pronoun=\"them\">them<\/span> know, you\u2019re giving <span class=\"pronoun-them\" data-pronoun=\"them\">them<\/span> a better idea of what the rules of <span class=\"pronoun-their\" data-pronoun=\"their\">their<\/span> world are.<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h4><strong>What makes an apology<\/strong><\/h4>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">For starters, you say &#8220;I&#8217;m sorry.&#8221; Then, once the easy part is over, it\u2019s time to honestly admit the mistake you&#8217;re apologizing for.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">By describing the mistake you made, and helping <span class=\"pronoun-baby\" data-pronoun=\"baby\">Baby<\/span> understand it, you&#8217;ll be modeling great behavior. You can teach <span class=\"pronoun-them\" data-pronoun=\"them\">them<\/span> that everyone makes mistakes, and that it\u2019s okay to make mistakes, but important to recognize them, and to apologize afterwards, instead of trying to hide or ignore them.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Try to avoid saying &#8220;I&#8217;m sorry, but\u2026&#8221; which most people agree isn&#8217;t a real apology at all. Own up to your mistake instead of trying to explain it away. Instead, try leading with &#8220;I&#8217;m sorry because&#8230;&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<h4><strong>Be the role model<\/strong><\/h4>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">By apologizing for real, you&#8217;re setting a strong, positive example. When <span class=\"pronoun-baby\" data-pronoun=\"baby\">Baby<\/span> needs to apologize for something <span class=\"pronoun-they\" data-pronoun=\"they\">they will<\/span> know how to do it for real, and not just say the words. The better you apologize when you need to now, the better <span class=\"pronoun-they\" data-pronoun=\"they\">they will<\/span> be able to apologize to you later, when <span class=\"pronoun-they\" data-pronoun=\"they\">they messes<\/span> up.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Another great followup to an apology is to ask what you or <span class=\"pronoun-they\" data-pronoun=\"they\">they could<\/span> have done differently. This helps everyone in the family feel accountable for one another&#8217;s actions, and can help prevent future incidents that would result in an apology. <\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Everyone messes up, and when they do there are two big words they need to say. Having to say them to someone who looks up to you makes it even harder to do, but it&#8217;s also even more important. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":236120,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ovia_author_name":"","ovia_author_prefix":"","ovia_author_image":"","ovia_content_type_id":"177","ovia_product_mode":"13","ovia_days_from_signup":"","ovia_days_from_lmp":"","ovia_days_from_baby_birth":"490","ovia_days_from_enroll":"","ovia_health_module_days_from":"","ovia_article_for_email_days_from":"490","ovia_health_module":"","ovia_legacy_id2":"","ovia_ttc":"","ovia_article_subtype":"","ovia_health_symptom":"","ovia_partner_id":"","ovia_partner_custom_group":"","ovia_legacy_category":"12","ovia_legacy_category2":"240","ovia_content_url_id":"103164","ovia_include_share_buttons":"","ovia_fertility_goal":"","ovia_secondary_module":"","ovia_trimester":"","ovia_child_age":"","ovia_share_image":"","ovia_more_menu_image":"","ovia_button1_url":"","ovia_days_from_postpartum":"","footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"fert-category":[],"preg-category":[],"parent-category":[112,115,122,119,116],"fert-tag":[],"preg-tag":[],"parent-tag":[432],"class_list":["post-103164","article","type-article","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","parent-category-babys-development-and-growth","parent-category-language-and-communication-development","parent-category-parenting-styles","parent-category-raising-baby","parent-category-social-and-emotional-development","parent-tag-bonding-with-baby"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Apologizing to your toddler - Ovia Health<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Everyone messes up, and when they do there are two big words they need to say. 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