Does your kid refuse any food that veers off their optimal color pallet? Fill up by just looking at broccoli while mysteriously leaving plenty of room for dessert? (We all need to admit there truly is another compartment when it comes to ice cream.) Do they seem to always get more food on themselves than in their mouth? Refuse to eat if any of the food is touching? Twirl their food into their hair? We’ve heard it all.

We’ve consulted with some Ovia Moms and reflected on our own childhoods. Here are some tried and true mom mealtime hacks for your inspiration (or entertainment).

Play restaurant

Many of us haven’t been going to restaurants much this year, so Ovia moms are bringing the restaurant into their own kitchens. Depending on the number of little ones you have at home and their ages, there are a whole bunch of roles that need to be filled at the “restaurant:” host, server, patron, dishwasher, the list goes on. “Restaurant” can even be a full day affair (those menus don’t write themselves kids)! Assign your little ones parts, maybe even multiple parts for those smaller families (or overachievers); and you’re open for business!

And, as every restaurant-goer knows, there is always one quiet lady sitting in the corner who does not appreciate being bothered. An Ovia mom was recently overheard reminding the waitstaff at her “restaurant” that the quiet lady in the corner should not be consulted on optimal dishwashing technique.

Cover your tracks

Many kids have a special talent for sensing and rejecting the most nutritious foods (we see those picked over greens left on your plate). Mom’s favorite hack? Wrap it up or put it on a stick. Something about those veggies being invisible or in a more fun format really does make them more delicious.

Dinner dancing

Ovia moms report that turning on some music can do wonders to help their little ones get those before-dinner zoomies out. When your infant, toddler, or adult partner is feeling a bit moody, nothing changes the mood more successfully than some happy music. This hack can be used any time. An Ovia Mom recently reported using the dance and music routine to combat her baby’s fear of the blender.

For warmer months and tired moms

When you’re just not feeling like making a complicated meal, take a blanket outside and have yourself a family picnic. There are so many reasons Ovia moms love this hack. Messy hands are no match for grass. And (perhaps most importantly), an extravagant meal would be very strange to bring to a picnic. PB&Js for everyone, limited kitchen time for Mom!

Little helpers

Getting your kiddos in on the cooking can be more trouble than it’s worth — one Ovia mom suspects this is the reason you’ve never once seen an Instagram Live of a family meal. But some foods are easier (and more time-consuming) for little hands. Have your older kids help shuck corn or break off asparagus ends. Not your thing? Ok, onto the next…

Themes

We’ve seen more than a few eyes roll at the idea of themed dinners, but themes can get your kids excited to dress up, decorate the table, even create drawings based on the theme — all of which offer you some extra time to place that order or, if you’re feeling inspired by the theme yourself, cook up something delicious.

One Ovia family throws a regular Jammies & Jewels themed dinner. Cozy, fabulous, and already dressed for bed (admittedly only so long as the mess is minimal). Mom brilliance at its finest (and most efficient).

Need some post dinner inspiration? We love a good pillow fort, but we’re noticing that a lot of forts these days are missing a main character: a sleeping mama bear who can’t be woken up. We know just the right person for the part.

Read more:

• 6 hilarious mom beauty hacks
• 5 moms on what they really want for Mother’s Day 

The truth is, if you ask any seasoned single-parenting veteran, one of the first pieces of advice they give is to consistently check in on yourself and figure out what you need. It’s not selfish, and it’s totally not a waste of important time – if anything, it’s going to help you get through the rest of your day.

Okay, so this all sounds well and good, but how exactly are you supposed to put this into action? Here are some ways you can start.

Get help from friends and family

Being able to leave Baby with someone that you trust makes it so much easier (and cheaper) for you to get away for an hour or two, or even for a whole night. At this age Baby takes quite a bit of work, but there’s a good chance that you have at least one or two people who might be happy to take them off your loving hands for a little while. This doesn’t just free up your schedule; it helps the people in your life start to build a relationship with them.

Take a regularly scheduled night off

Some nights are for laundry, cleaning, meal prep, and whatever else you have to do. But there should absolutely be a night you can look forward to, at whatever interval works for your family, that you can dedicate exclusively to winding down and allowing yourself to relax. Some single parents may be able to fit a night like this in once a week, but even if it’s only every other week, or once a month, taking some time to recharge is important. We’re talking no work, no planning, and as much you-time as you can possibly fit in before you fall asleep. Leave the dishes for the next night.

Don’t put your dreams or goals on the sidelines

Just because Baby is a part of your life now doesn’t mean that everything else has to fall by the wayside. It might go a little more slowly, but you still deserve time in the day to think about things you want to create, places you want to go, and people you want to see. This might mean getting up a little earlier, before Baby has opened their eyes, to spend some time focusing on yourself and the future. In the long-run, pursuing your own goals is good for Baby, too – seeing you work towards the things that are important to you will give them a great model for how they will live their own life.

Establish a daily ‘quiet time’

For a little bit of time each day, help Baby get involved with a low-key activity that gives you a little bit of a break from the action. This can be coloring, looking at a book, or generally anything else that helps you re-center yourself and get some time to read, rest, or do anything else that you find relaxing. These kinds of activities can also help Baby build their sense of concentration and self-sufficiency. They won’t be able to focus on quiet activities for too long when they’s young, but as they gets older, they’ll get better and better, and having a dedicated time to practice every day will only help them improve.

Don’t compare yourself to other parents, whether they’re real or imaginary

You might be able to think of a few parents whose skills impress you to no end. Some of these parents may be real, and others may completely be in your head! No matter how great other parents seem to be at planning meals or dressing their children, make a concerted effort not to compare your experiences or style with theirs. Comparing wastes precious energy, and it will only leave you feeling inadequate – something that you don’t deserve to feel.

What works for one family might not work for another, and you’ve got your own special rhythm going on. Learn from people if you admire what they’re doing, and then just appreciate the differences between parents. And you never know who’s watching you, feeling impressed by all that you do.

Every parent who returns to work after the birth of their first child goes through an adjustment period – your life is simply much different now – and no matter how much time you spent knowing that Baby was on the way, it’s still going to take some time for you and your coworkers to get used to this change. For single parents, this is magnified by the added responsibility of not having a partner to share this new responsibility with. Single parents may also end up going back to work earlier than parents in two-parent households and may have less of a choice about when they go back.

Plan ahead

One of the main differences between parenting solo and having a co-pilot is that while you may have everything set up to run smoothly under clear skies, you’ve got less backup to rely on when things get stormy. This can be a problem for any single parent, but the better you prepare for such turbulence ahead of time, the more easily you’ll be able to handle it when it arrives.

For example, single parents – like all parents – occasionally face the question of just what to do when their children get sick, but they may have a smaller pool of sick days or days with paid leave to draw from than two parents, who can take turns missing work, and may also have a harder time losing out on a day’s worth of work if they don’t have paid leave. In the U.S., in the case of serious illness, parents can often take unpaid leave under the 1993 Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA). But the FMLA won’t do much to help a single parent whose little one just has a little stomach bug or a persistent case of the sniffles. 

Even very healthy children get sick from time to time, so you’ll want to plan ahead of time just how you’ll handle these sort of surprises. If you have friends or family in the area who might be able to occasionally cover for you and care for Baby during work hours, it helps to have a conversation with them about this sort of an arrangement ahead of time before the sniffles strike. If you feel comfortable doing so, it can also be helpful to have a conversation with your boss or supervisor about what you can or should do if something unexpected like this comes up. But since single parents are not protected under U.S. federal anti-discrimination laws, it’s not a bad idea to be a little wary of those conversations if you’re not totally confident about how your employer will respond.

Find your people

Other parents you work with – whether they’re single parents or not – are probably going to understand the challenges you’re facing better than anyone else you work with, even if you didn’t start off knowing these coworkers all that well. Particularly if you do shift work, adding parents that you work with – who might better understand just why you’re asking – to your list of people to call if you need to adjust your schedule unexpectedly can be practical and important. If nothing else, though, there’s strength in numbers and there’s reassurance in sympathy, and finding some allies among your coworkers is an important part of adjusting to your new reality at work.

When job seeking

Whether it’s because you need a job with better flexibility now that you’re a parent or because you just want a change, job hunting as a single parent can be a nerve-wracking situation. In the U.S., potential employers are not legally allowed to ask you about your marital status or whether you have children.

But many parents feel uncomfortable withholding key information about themselves, and early disclosure of potential scheduling conflicts could help build goodwill with your potential employer. Additionally, letting an employer know about Baby right away may be the best way to explain a gap in employment on your resume.

On the other hand, if you feel uncomfortable sharing that information, there is a reason protections are in place to keep you from being asked – it’s your family life and your privacy. In any case, if you are going to talk about Baby, there’s no reason to mention them in your cover letter or application. That kind of heart-to-heart can wait until you’re in your interview, face to face, when you can get a better sense of your interviewer and how to best approach the subject.

The importance of extended family for single parents

• Support for you: Single parents face a range of challenges, from the practical – half as many hands, just as much Baby – to the emotional. Having a co-parent means having someone who wants to hear all about your little one’s adventures in learning to walk or the funny sounds they make along the way when learning to talk. Single parents who don’t have co-parents, though, or whose co-parents are involved in their children’s lives in a more limited way, can feel isolated and lonely when they don’t have someone to share both the best and the more difficult parts of parenting with. Many single parents want or feel obligated to be as self-sufficient as possible, but building a strong network of extended family members or close friends who want to be an active part of your family on a regular basis can help support your own mental and emotional well-being as you raise Baby.
• Support for your child: Building strong relationships with extended family or friends can also help Baby as they grows. Having healthy relationships with different adults – who have varied experiences and ways of looking at the world – is important for all children. The children of single parents can particularly benefit from a few close, supportive relationships with some of the adults who you trust and care about, but who will also reflect a view of the world that’s different from your own back to Baby.

Extended family inside and outside the home

In the U.S., most households that consist of extended family members living together include grandparents and grandchildren. According to the 2012 U.S. census, about 3% of households are home to both grandparents and grandchildren. In some of these households, grandparents are their grandchildren’s guardians, but in about two thirds of them, grandparents live with their grandchildren right alongside their grandchildren’s parents. Living with an extended family member – like a parent or sibling – can be a great way for new single parents to settle into parenting before striking out on their own or can even be a good long-term arrangement.

And extended family members that live nearby can also be a key part of a single-parent family, while still leaving you and Baby a bit more space to figure out how to be a family together. Extended family members can provide invaluable help in terms of childcare, but they can also make a huge impact on your family life by even just occasionally joining you and Baby for dinner or for a trip to the park. When Baby is as young as they is, just having another adult around the two of you for a few hours now and then can make a big difference.

Challenges with extended family members

Though single-parent families are more common than they’ve ever been, research by the Pew Research Center in 2011 confirmed what many single-parents already knew or suspected – that there are still plenty of people who aren’t totally supportive of single-parent families. If your family is going to encounter this lack of support – which may come from older family members and can be difficult to hear – you may want to limit just how much you allow such family members into your life with Baby. And that’s your right as Baby’s parent and primary caregiver – you get to decide who gets to be a major part of your family, and people who aren’t going to support you and Baby can move to the sidelines of your family life.

Building extended family networks

Just how much extended family members become involved in the lives of single-parent families tends to happen naturally and is often determined by the kind of relationship the parent has always had with their family. For single parents, though, it can sometimes be helpful to make that involvement a little more explicit. To even talk to just one or two members of your extended family about making a commitment to be a little more of a steady presence in you and Baby‘s lives can make a huge difference.

It’s not always possible, but depending on what your relationship with them is like, it can also sometimes be worth reaching out to Baby’s other parent’s family – if Baby has one, and even if the other parent isn’t a part of their life. Whether or not to reach out to Baby’s relatives who you’re not related to is definitely your judgement call to make, but if you and Baby are lucky, reaching out to them could be a way to add more people who love Baby into their life.

At this point, when Baby is so little, you’re probably still a big part of any time they spends with their relatives, and it can feel awkward getting to know the people who are a part of Baby’s extended family but who you may not know well yet. But this is also a great time for you to get to know these people so that Baby can grow up around them, but without the specific memories of these early days when you were still working out the best way to have their extended family be a part of your family’s life.

Having a co-parent doesn’t just mean a second pair of hands around the house, a person to alternate night-time feedings with, or someone else to pick up the slack in an emergency, though, of course, it’s those things too. At its heart, having a co-parent means having another person who cares just as much about Baby’s skinned knee or their attitude about daycare as you do. Parenting without that person beside you is its own unique challenge, but it doesn’t mean that your child will have to go without that second source of love and support. Instead, it just means that that support won’t all come from one source, but will be spread out between many different points in your family’s support network.

Tap into all of your resources

If you need to, you can do with a lot less help than might be offered to you by concerned family, friends, or even friendly acquaintances, but there’s no reason that you should. Asking for help early on doesn’t mean there’s no one left to help you later when you really need it. Instead, it means you’ll already have a good sense of just who in your life who’s said, “Let me know if there’s anything you need,” really means that they’ll drive through a snowstorm, pick up groceries on the way, and watch your crying, stuffy-nosed infant for hours when you need to stay late at work.

Being willing to ask for help – and knowing how and when to do it – is a muscle that some single parents are just not used to working out before their children come along. Strengthening that ability before you reach a crisis point means you’ll have a better idea of how to reach out and who to reach out to when you really need the help.

Be a joiner

Even if you were a loner before Baby came along, now that they is here, it might be time to do your best impression of a social butterfly and flit your way over to storytime at the library, a parent-child class or activity, or just your local playground at an especially social time of day. This is important because, as you expand your support system, the people who can understand the specific things you’re dealing with the best are going to be other parents, especially parents with children Baby’s age.

If you can find a single parents group of people you feel connected to, that’s great, but in putting together your support system, finding people you like and trust is more important – and more likely to be the sort of relationships you can depend on – than finding people who may have more directly in common with your situation, but who you may click with less.        

Set up swaps

Childcare swaps are one of the biggest ways that parents of young children can help each other out while still keeping childcare costs low, but that’s not the only way you and other new parents can share time and responsibilities to help each other out. As your children get older, ride-sharing is another easy swap you can make with other parents, as is sharing hand-me-downs – since young children grow so fast that a lot of their clothes barely get worn before they’re too small.

And a less obvious swap that can be a life-saver is a weekly or monthly meal swap. As Baby gets older and starts eating solid food, if you have a single parent buddy or just a busy parent-couple who want a night off from cooking once every couple of weeks but who don’t have the money or desire to eat out on a regular basis, pick a night and set up a swap. You can do this either by cooking big batches of something that travels easily and then bringing over half a pot of whatever you’ve cooked the morning of, or you can make a night of it, head over to your new friend’s place, and cook there. Spending a social evening with other parents – while having a built-in playmate for Baby – can be a great break, and if it’s a swap, then half the time you don’t need to worry about clean-up!

Virtual support

They can’t necessarily carpool with you and Baby, but online friends and communities can be the best way to connect with people who know exactly what you’re going through. Plus, not knowing these folks in person can mean that they’re exactly the right people to vent to. Sometimes, just knowing there’s someone out there who really understands is exactly what you need.

So what’s a new single parent to do when Baby is up and chirping bright and early with the birds, but you just really, desperately need to focus on what’s on the stove for a minute, put the trash out by the curb, and grab a lightning-fast shower? In some ways, when you’re in the moment, you’ll always need to make your own judgment call, but there are a few guiding principles you can use as you’re deciding how to best handle things.

If you find yourself wondering if you’re in a situation where you can look – or even walk – away from Baby for a few minutes, ask yourself these questions:

Is they awake?

Look, constant supervision is all well and good, but if you can manage to get your little duckling to settle down into their nest for the night, as long as you stay in the house with them and would be able to hear them if they woke up, that time is your own. And though the length of sleep is shorter and the time can feel more fragile, the same is true of naps. Even if Baby happens to wake up while you’re catching up on Netflix, writing the great American novel, or scrubbing off the last remaining traces of spit-up from your body, as long as they is in a safe, confined sleep space and can’t wander off anywhere until you’re done doing what you need to do, then you should be a-okay.

Is they in their high chair?

This is a tricky piece of furniture. While it may seem like it’s so good at containing your little rugrat that it’s safe to pop into another room to answer the phone once Baby is safely strapped in, high chairs are tall enough that a determined baby or toddler can throw their weight around in them in ways that could, potentially, be dangerous. So while a high chair can be a good additional babysitter when you’re in the room – like, for instance, when you’re cooking – it’s probably not the best idea to trust Baby to stay in one while you step away.

Is they anywhere they could roll off of?

This includes couches, beds, and even strapped into a changing table. Even if Baby isn’t actually rolling over yet, you never know when they is going to learn. Leaving Baby in a room on their own for a few minutes now and then isn’t a bad idea, since it encourages them to explore the world around them and get a taste for independence – it’s also pretty good for your sanity. But when you do so, you’ll want to make sure that they’s at ground-level and preferably inside some kind of enclosure, like a playpen or pack ’n play, or in a safely baby-proofed room with a baby-gate on the door.

And for the times when you can’t

One thing single parents learn pretty fast is the smoothest way for them to move through their daily lives with their little ones attached at the hip. When Baby is little, a baby carrier or sling can be a great way to keep them close without taking away the use of your hands. As they gets older, you’ll get used to having an extra-special helper there with you through every step of your day.

Healthline, for your health and well-being Written by Leah Campbell

Not too long ago, I had to take my daughter to the hospital. At almost 4 years old, she had been complaining about neck pain for a week. I brushed it off, mostly because she would complain and then run away two seconds later to play. It didn’t seem serious, so I wasn’t concerned.

That was until the night she collapsed on the ground screaming out in pain. Her neck hurt. Her head hurt. Her eyes hurt. The light was too bright. Her legs hurt. She couldn’t walk.

I panicked. And then, I took I deep breath and I pulled myself together. I picked my little girl up, I buckled her into her car seat, and I drove us to the hospital, where we spent the next six hours in the emergency room, and the next two days at various appointments. It turned out, she had viral meningitis.

That experience was hard and scary. And I was by my daughter’s side alone the entire time. You see, I’m a single mom, and there’s no other parenting figure in this equation.

I’ve got this and so do you, single moms and dads

When I talk about single parents, I do so from experience. I know what it’s like to have to make split-second decisions by yourself, without another parenting partner there to consult. I know what it’s like to live with that fear that something may be wrong, and to not have anyone who is equally invested in your child’s life to lean on. I know what it is to worry about bills, or having enough time for your little one, or feeling like you might not be enough.

I know firsthand how much love and work and heart goes into being a single parent. So when I call you a superhero for doing it, and for doing it well, I’m not tooting my own horn. The truth is, I chose this. I adopted my little girl on my own, and I entered into this parenting role by myself from the start. I knew what I was getting into, and at almost 30 years old and in an established career, I felt ready for it. I wanted it. I still do.

The hardest thing you’ve ever loved

Of course, there are times it’s hard. Harder than I thought it would be. Times when I find myself wishing I had found love first, a partner to share this parenting gig with. Times when I yearn for someone else for my daughter as much as for myself.

But for the most part, I’ve got this. And I don’t have much to complain about, because I chose it, and being a mom really does fill me with more love and joy than anything else in my entire life ever has.

Which isn’t to discount the efforts of the other single moms by choice that I know (they’re all pretty much rock stars). But our journey is different from the one single parents who didn’t choose this role take.

The ones who entered parenthood believing they would have a parenting partner by their side, but who lost that along the way, either through abandonment or loss.

I’m in awe when I look at single parents who never wanted to be single parents at all. I see them pushing through anyway, jumping over the hurdles and doing what it takes to give their children everything they would have had with two parents in their lives.

Honestly, none of this is easy. Let’s be honest, parenting isn’t easy. It’s wonderful, yes, but it’s also terrifying, and exhausting. It’s overwhelming in a million different ways we can never actually prepare for. Parenting is hard. Parenting on one’s own is harder. And parenting on your own when you had believed you would have that partner by your side to hold your hand along this journey?

That might just be the hardest thing of all.

I see you…

So for the moms and dads who get up every day and do it on their own, working to pay all the bills, to make it to the school and sporting events, to shower their kids with love, I see you. And I think you’re amazing. A superhero, really. 

You may not feel like you’re doing enough, but you are. You sacrifice sleep and personal desires to ensure your kids have everything they need. You do the work of two, all by yourself and with little recognition for your efforts.

You pour your heart into your kids, without someone to curl in bed next to at night and lament about it all to. You sometimes feel alone, and isolated, and like you’ll never have a life of your own again. You look in the mirror and almost don’t recognize the tired face looking back at you. You grieve. You struggle. You don’t always do everything right.

But you are there. Every day, doing it all. For your kids, for yourself, for your family, all on your own.

Bottom line

Single moms and dads, you are superheroes. Even if your kids don’t know it yet, they will someday. They’ll recognize all the love and effort you put into your family. The love and effort you put into them.

Just in case you haven’t heard it recently, though, I’ll say it again: I see you. I see all you do. I see how hard you work. I see how much you sacrifice. I see the love that drives you. And I see the struggles you push through. I see you. And I think you’re amazing. 

Your kids do too, whether they’ll admit to it or not!

About Heathline:
Want to do something that’s good for you? Get in on Women’s Wellness, Healthline’s weekly newsletter. It covers exercise, nutrition, mental well-being, sex, sleep, stress relief, health news, and more. We’ve got 26 different health and wellness newsletters so please check us out. Do it for you!