We meditated with Faith Hunter, learned about the importance of sleep with Angela Holliday-Bell, and participated in a healing, positive affirmation exercise with Leasa Wright. 

Here are the most important moments from the event, hosted by Denise Albert, in case you weren’t able to attend.

A short, guided meditation session with Faith Hunter

Breath work gives us the ability to center ourselves. Faith led us in a breathing exercise that you can do at home; here’s how:

• Take your right hand, close your index and middle finger towards your palm
• Take your right thumb and use it to close your right nostril 
• Breath in through your left nostril
• Close off your left nostril with your ring finder 
• Release your right nostril 
• Exhale through your right nostril
• Inhale through your right nostril
• Close it off
• Exhale through your left nostril
• Inhale through your left nostril
• Repeat

Stress management & self-care with Dinah Eke, Amanda McKay, and Brooke Davis 

Dinah, Amanda, and Brooke discussed the importance of taking small moments in the middle of the day to be mindful. Check in with yourself: How are you feeling? Are you drinking enough water? Are you getting a little movement? Are you getting outside? Take a little time for yourself.

When it comes to practical ways to destress, there are two options: address the stress head-on or escape it through distraction.

Dinah offered some advice about the way list-making helps her de-stress. Just writing down the thoughts that are leading to stress when the kids are asleep can make it feel more manageable. And when you just need to escape the stress, Amanda recommends distracting yourself away by getting outside, listening to a podcast, or just laying down for a moment. 

When the mom guilt creeps up on you, remember: you are doing a fantastic job. It’s OK to take time for yourself, to feel overwhelmed by your kids, to have hard days. Give yourself permission to feel whatever you’re feeling. These feelings don’t make you less of a parent or less of a caregiver. 

And remember, it’s OK to bring other people into the conversation. Ask for help from family and friends. Ask for flexibility from your manager.

Self-care tips from Amanda McKay, Self-Care Coach for Moms

• Schedule it
• Ask for help
• Remember you need and deserve a break
• It’s ok to set boundaries and say no 

Wellness check with Elaine Bishop

Signs that you are experiencing an amount of stress that could be damaging to your mental health:

• Overwhelming feelings of sadness 
• Difficulty enjoying things you used to enjoy
• Relationship changes: Are you having more trouble reading other people’s social signals? Are you declining social invitations more than usual?
• Appetite changes: Are you experiencing significant increased or decreased appetite?
• Substance use: Are you turning to drink more often than before? Are you developing feelings of dependence?
• Thoughts of harming yourself 

If you are feeling any of these feelings, know that there is help. Try contacting the National Alliance on Mental Illness either by phone at: 1800-950-6264 or by email at: info@nami.org.

Tips from physician and sleep specialist, Dr. Holliday-Bell

Many parents find quality sleep to be a bit evasive, but the first step to getting better sleep is prioritizing better sleep. Dr. Holliday-Bell outlined a few specific tips:

• Decide on a bedtime and wake time
• Stick to a consistent schedule (weekends count too!)
• Create a relaxing, 30-60 min bedtime routine
• Keep your bedroom dark, quiet, and cool
• Master a relaxation technique (like deep breathing)

Breath work and affirmation practice with Leasa Wright 

We closed out Stressless Fest with a series of affirmations from Leasa Wright. To practice this at home, close your eyes and think of a happy memory or a happy place. Then repeat out loud to yourself:

• I live in my truth
• I boldly and freely express myself
• I follow my dreams
• I welcome goodness; I welcome love 

This may feel uncomfortable at first, but after a few rounds of these affirmations, the Stressless Fest attendees felt calmer, lighter, and more confident. We hope you will too! 

Sponsored by Airwick, Enfamil, and Beyond Yoga 

What can you do to ensure Baby gets enough sleep? And what’s a reasonable bedtime for a three-year-old?

Getting enough zzzzzzzs . . .

With Baby now almost three, it’s a great time to begin thinking about bedtimes and whether or not anything should change with their upcoming birthday. In order to determine a workable bedtime, it’s important to look first at how much sleep a three-year-old needs.

According to guidelines issued by the American Academy of Sleep Medicine – and supported by the American Academy of Pediatrics – children between the ages of three and five need 10 to 13 hours of sleep a day – and this includes naps.

Challenges to a set sleep schedule

While you have the best intentions about ensuring Baby gets an adequate amount of sleep, real life often intervenes. Work schedules and long commutes sometimes mean parents allow young children to stay up a bit later so they can spend time together as a family. Sometimes sleep schedules get off kilter after the switch to daylight savings time, once you return from vacation (particularly if you traveled to a different time zone) or following an illness.

In addition, families with children who attend daycare or morning pre-school have less flexibility regarding bedtime. With a firm wake-up time in the morning, there’s more of an impact the next day when Baby drags out their bedtime routine or has trouble falling asleep due to a loud thunderstorm.

Beyond tired and cranky

So what’s the impact of a young child who doesn’t get enough sleep? You’ve undoubtedly seen the next-day effects when Baby gets less rest than needed. They may be fussy, irritable, teary, and prone to meltdowns.

Unfortunately, this is just the tip of the iceberg, as there’s a connection between staying healthy and getting enough sleep. Lack of sleep can raise diabetes risk factors, negatively impact depression, and limit the body’s ability to combat threats to the immune system, among others.

Calculating bedtime

Often, the best way to figure out the right bedtime for your family is to figure out how many hours of sleep your child needs to be getting at night (the number of hours they needs to be getting total, minus the amount of time they spends napping), and then take the time they gets up in the morning (either because they has to get to preschool or daycare at a certain time or just because they can never sleep past dawn), and count backwards.

The guideline of 10 to 13 hours of sleep leaves a little room to play around and figure out when the right bedtime for Baby is, but if they has always needed to sleep on the longer end of normal for their age, there’s a good chance that will still be true now. And even if Baby’s sleep schedule has been set in stone for a while now, if they has had any changes to their napping patterns, there’s a good chance their nighttime sleep could do with a shift, too, to accommodate that change.

Develop good sleep habits

By working to establish consistent bedtimes that follow recommended sleep guidelines, you can help ensure that Baby gets the rest they needs, as well as help them create lifelong habits for healthy sleep.

Sources

• “Healthy Sleep Habits: How Many Hours Does Your Child Need?” Healthy Children. American Academy of Pediatrics, March 23 2017. Retrieved September 5 2017. https://www.healthychildren.org/English/healthy-living/sleep/Pages/Healthy-Sleep-Habits-How-Many-Hours-Does-Your-Child-Need.aspx
• “A Lullaby for Good Health.” Adapted from Healthy Children Magazine, Summer 2007 Healthy Children. American Academy of Pediatrics, June 20 2013. Retrieved September 5 2017. https://www.healthychildren.org/English/healthy-living/sleep/Pages/A-Lullaby-for-Good-Health.aspx
• “Make Time 2 Sleep.” SleepEducation. American Academy of Sleep Medicine, 2017. Retrieved September 5 2017. http://www.sleepeducation.org/healthysleep/Make-Time-2-Sleep-Bedtime-Calculator
• “American Academy of Pediatrics Supports Childhood Sleep Guidelines.” American Academy of Pediatrics. American Academy of Pediatrics, June 13 2016. Retrieved September 5 2017. https://www.aap.org/en-us/about-the-aap/aap-press-room/pages/American-Academy-of-Pediatrics-Supports-Childhood-Sleep-Guidelines.aspx

Standing in protest

For babies who are already restless sleepers, or are on strike against naptime and bedtime, pulling themselves up into a standing position can feel like a great way to take a stand. For others, the appeal of standing up in the crib during naptime or after bedtime has more to do with how fun this new skill is – and it’s not their faults how much harder sitting back down is than standing up in the first place.

This means that there are a few different reasons a baby standing holding onto the rail of the crib might cry out for their parent or another caregiver. First, they is standing for the same reason they’s crying out – because they doesn’t want to lie down and sleep, they wants to get up and play. On the other hand, they might have pulled themselves up for fun, or for practice, or to see if they could, and might be crying out for you because they needs help lying back down again.

Standing as sleep regression

For many babies, working on and passing important developmental milestones can have an effect on sleep, and pulling up is an important physical milestone, which means that some sleep regression or resistance is fairly common during this time, even if it looks a little more dramatic when they is resisting while standing on their own two feet.

Dealing with a stubborn stander

When it truly is time for Baby to sleep, but they just keeps standing, there are a few different strategies you can take, based on why Baby is standing and what their temperament is. The first option is the simplest – just to let Baby stand. If they seems pretty happy to be standing up, and they has plenty of time to fall asleep on their own time, you can just give them the chance to see if they will get bored, lie back down, and fall asleep on their own.

It’s possible that they’ll fall, but it’s unlikely that they’ll hurt themselves. It can be tempting to put up bumpers to cushion the crib bars, but babies who are already feeling restless can use bumpers as steps to start climbing right out of their cribs, so adding bumpers can actually add an extra layer of risk, instead of a safety net.

If Baby is upset, or is stubborn enough that they is unlikely to give up and turn in on their own, try going in and lying them down for sleep again – and again, and again, and again. For the first few nights (or naps) you may feel like you spend more time lying Baby down again than you do sleeping, but after a few nights, Baby will probably have started to move on from their stand-and-deliver ways. If they hasn’t known how to sit back down again on their own, they will start to work that out, and if they was just in it for the thrill of trying a new skill, pulling into standing up will start to get old before too long.

A little bump from losing their balance when they is pulled up into a standing position isn’t much danger to your little one, but if they figures out how to climb out of their crib, that’s when things can start to get dangerous. If they is standing up in their crib, make sure the mattress is set as low as it will go, so that the railing is as high as possible. If they does figure out how to climb out, they might be ready to let the crib go in favor of a mattress on the floor.

The cliche is, “let sleeping dogs lie,” but it could just as easily be applied to babies. No matter how sweet your little bundle of joy is, once Baby goes down for a nap, letting them sleep can feel like as important of a priority as breathing oxygen, or managing to squeeze in time for a shower now and then.

Are there situations where the best option is actually to wake the baby though?

The short answer is yes.

If you have a baby who sleeps for long stretches during the day and at night and their sleep seems to work out well with your schedule — there’s no need to wake them up and change things! But for many parents, waking a sleeping baby is necessary to be able to get on a reasonable schedule. 

Here are some situations that may make it necessary to wake up your little one. 

Weight gain

If your child is having a difficult time getting back up to their birth weight after delivery, or if your child’s pediatrician has expressed concern about their weight gain, it may be necessary to wake them to feed so you can make sure they’re getting enough calories during the day (and through the night too). Check in with your child’s provider if you’re not sure how frequently you should be waking them up to feed.

Day/Night reversal

Newborns are typically born with their days and nights mixed up. During pregnancy when you were up during the day and moving around or at work, the constant movement often would lull your baby to sleep. Then, when you were able to kick your feet up at night, you may have noticed your baby woke up and got more active! Many babies are born with their days and nights still reversed like this. Usually infants will sort out their days and nights on their own by about 8 weeks. But there are some things you can do to help make that transition happen faster!

• Don’t let any single nap go over 2 hours in length
• Try to keep your baby up for at least 60 minutes in between naps
• Make sure the baby is napping in the brightest room of the house and don’t try to keep things quiet. At night, do the opposite and make sure they sleep in a dark, cool and quiet environment.

Infants that are 3 months old or younger need about 14 – 17 hours of sleep in a 24 hour period. That means they also need between 7 – 10 hours of wake time. If most of those 7-10 hours are happening during the night, it may be best to start waking them up a bit early from naps. By doing this, you can start to shift their schedule so that more of those hours of sleep take place during the night instead of during the day! 

Increased number/length of wake-ups at night

Too much sleep during the day will usually result in an infant that wakes up more at night (same with adults). While we expect infants to wake up at night for feedings, sometimes they’ll wake up at night simply because they are no longer tired! If you’ve gone in to feed your little one and they are disinterested, or they only eat a small amount but seem wide awake, it may be that they are getting too much daytime sleep.

Between 4-12 months of age, an infant’s sleep needs drop a bit and they need about 12 – 15 hours of sleep in a 24 hour period. So, 9-12 hours of their 24 hour day will be spent awake. If left up to baby, those wake time hours may not happen when you want them to. Capping daytime sleep can help make sure that your little one is up enough during the day and sleep as much as possible at night. Out of those 12 – 15 hours of needed sleep, plan on 9 -10 of them taking place at night and the rest of those hours being spread out over naps.

Nap duration 

Length of naps matters too! If an infant/toddler is under 12 months of age, then it’s usually best to keep naps to no more than 2 hours in length. Naps that go over 2 hours will often start to cause more nighttime wakings.

Reviewed by the Ovia Health Clinical Team

Sources

• “Sleep and newborns.” KidsHealth. The Nemours Foundation, December 2016.
• “Techniques on Waking a Sleeping Baby.” AskDrSears. AskDrSears.com. Web.
• “Waking Up Is (Sometimes) Hard To Do.” Healthy Children. American Academy of Pediatrics, November 21 2015. Web.

Plan ahead

In the week leading up to the time change, you can get Baby ready for the shift by adjusting their bedtime by 10-minute increments, so that by the time the hour actually changes, Baby is already following that schedule. Light-blocking curtains can help keep Baby’s internal clock from being thrown off by the change in sunlight, either in the evening or in the morning. It may be tempting to try to keep Baby awake longer during the day so they’ll sleep better at night during the adjustment period, but this could just make Baby overtired, which could make it harder for them to fall asleep.

Even if changing their bedtime goes smoothly, the time when they wakes up may take longer to adjust. If they doesn’t start to adjust to the time change and wake up at the normal time on their own after a week or so, it could be because if you’re getting up with them when they wakes up, they doesn’t see any reason to. If you try to resettle them back to sleep when they wakes up for a few days, they should be able to adjust fairly easily.

Alternately

You can also just do it. Babies are tough, and it’s just an hour, so if you’re prepared to face a day or two of grumpiness while Baby adjusts, it may be easier on your schedule not to alter your routine. On the other hand, you can also try adjusting Baby’s sleep in bigger increments – 15 minutes a day for 4 days, or even just by half an hour, spending a few days in the middle stage.

No matter which way you choose to break daylight savings to Baby, be prepared to deal with a few days of crankiness as they adjusts. They might need an extra nap or two, and your patience as they experiences a shift in time itself for the first time.

There’s a moment of nervousness for many new parents as they put their baby down into bed and walk away down the hall, out of sight, for the rest of the night (theoretically, of course – you know exactly how likely it is that Baby actually sleeps through the night). Room-sharing (keeping a baby in the parents’ bedroom at night, not in the same bed), is some parents’ way of compromising with that feeling.

Pros of room-sharing

According to the American Association of Pediatrics, room-sharing (but not surface-sharing) in the first 6 months can reduce the risk of SIDS. Recommendations aside, nursing parents also sometimes find that sharing a room with their babies can help them get more sleep. Keeping babies nearby and in sight can help some new parents feel more secure.

Cons of room-sharing

The major argument against room sharing is that babies will have a hard time transitioning to sleeping in their own room when the time comes and some sleep researchers believe that any amount of parental involvement and presence when a baby is falling asleep can lead to a lighter, more broken-up sleep.

Some of the other drawbacks of room-sharing are specific to your lifestyle – for example, if you smoke in your bedroom or keep the TV on at night, it’s still probably better for Baby to sleep somewhere else. 

There’s also a definite loss of privacy involved in room-sharing in ways that bothers some new parents more than others — but there are other reasons why room-sharing might not work for your family. For example, some babies sleep really loudly. If you find that sleeping in the same room as Baby is keeping you from actually sleeping, room-sharing might not be the way to go.

Reviewed by the Ovia Health Clinical Team 

Sources

• Mary L. Gavin. “Bed-sharing.” KidsHealth. The Nemours Foundation, December 2016. Retrieved June 28 2017. http://kidshealth.org/en/parents/cosleeping.html#.
• Ian M. Paul. “Mother-Infant Room-Sharing and Sleep Outcomes in the INSIGHT Study.” Pediatrics. June 2017. Retrieved June 28 2017. http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/early/2017/06/01/peds.2017-0122.
• “American Academy of Pediatrics Announces New Safe Sleep Recommendations to Protect Against SIDs, Sleep-Related Infant Deaths.” AAP. American Academy of Pediatrics, October 24 2016. Retrieved June 28 2017. https://www.aap.org/en-us/about-the-aap/aap-press-room/pages/american-academy-of-pediatrics-announces-new-safe-sleep-recommendations-to-protect-against-sids.aspx. 

Most parents expect to sleep very little during the newborn stage, when nighttime can be quite a noisy and fitful affair. When Baby finally sleeps through the night, it will feel like a miracle. Sometimes Baby will even apply the same restful approach to daylight napping, and some will wonder: “Is my baby sleeping too much?”

Monitor their sleep

First, try keeping track of how much time Baby typically spends in dreamland. The average newborn gets about 16 hours of sleep each day: these hours can range from long, steady periods to brief and intermittent bouts. However, some babies tend to hit the pillow harder and can rack up as much as 18 to 20 hours of sleep each day!

What happens if Baby sleeps more than most?

This higher-end sleep average is no cause for alarm, but it will usually mean having to interrupt Baby’s sleep cycle for feeding and other essentials. While this might make for some audible angst, most babies need to eat at least 8 times in 24 hours for the first two months or so. In addition to feeding, Baby also needs to receive sufficient “touch time” with you.

One way to get your cuddles in without waking Baby regularly is to wear them around the house in a carrier or sling for some time each day. This will allow Baby to keep on counting sheep while feeling physically close to you. Newborns with jaundice tend to sleep a little more than babies without it, but it’s especially important for them to eat frequently, since getting sufficient amounts of fluids and pooping regularly helps them recover.

Going forward

For the long haul, be sure to keep an eye on your baby’s behavioral development. As long as Baby continues growing and meeting developmental milestones, chances are they are getting exactly the sleep they need. 

Reviewed by the Ovia Health Clinical Team 

Sources

• M. Lampl, M.L. Johnson. “Infant growth in length follows prolonged sleep and increased naps.” Sleep. 34(5): 641-50. Web. May 2011.
• “How Much Sleep Do Babies and Kids Need?” National Sleep Foundation. National Sleep Foundation, 2017. Web.
• “Sleeps too much?” AskDrSears. AskDrSears. Web.

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that all healthy infants be put down to sleep on their backs, not their sides or stomachs.

Why should babies sleep on their backs?

This is the safest position to sleep for the first year of life, since it drastically reduces the chance of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, often known as SIDS.

SIDS is one of the top 5 causes of death for babies under age one. However, the SIDS rate has declined by 50% since experts began recommending that parents place babies on their backs to sleep for every nap and overnight. While experts do not know exactly what causes SIDS, in addition to genetic predisposition, there may also be airway and awareness changes that make it harder for babies on their stomachs to get enough oxygen. 

Doctors used to believe that if babies slept on their backs, if they were to vomit it could cause dangerous blocked airways. Doctors later discovered that babies have little difficulty turning their heads while sick or spitting up, and leaving baby in a stomach down position is far more dangerous. If your newborn has a condition that forces them to remain on their stomachs, consult your pediatrician or family doctor about safe sleep positions. Infants who sleep on their backs are also less susceptible to ear infections, fevers, and stuffy noses.

Even if your newborn is sleeping on their back, it is important to avoid soft surfaces like pillows and comforters, stuffed toys, loose clothing, crib bumpers or any other potentially loose item (like mittens or hats) which can block the airway. A firm crib mattress covered by a tightly fitted sheet is the safest bedding for an infant, even if it seems empty in there! The AAP recommends that infants should be sleeping in their sleep space alone as well.

Parents and caregivers should place infants on their backs for every sleep. Once a baby can roll into their preferred sleep position, you do not need to reposition them as SIDS becomes far less of a risk. 

Reviewed by the Ovia Health Clinical Team 

Sources

• “Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) About SIDS and Safe Infant Sleep.” National Institute of Child Health and Human Development. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. Web.
• “Sleep Position: Why Back is Best.” HealthyChildren. American Academy of Pediatrics, November 21 2015. Web.
• “Sudden Infant Death Syndrome(SIDS).” Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, October 3 2016. Web.