Sex During Pregnancy: What you need to know https://www.oviahealth.com/blog/pregnancy/sex-during-pregnancy/ Digital health personalized for every family journey Wed, 11 Jun 2025 16:21:35 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.8.3 Dear Ovia, How to get my partner involved in baby preparations? https://www.oviahealth.com/guide/260951/dear-ovia-how-to-get-my-partner-involved-in-baby-preparations/ Wed, 09 Feb 2022 22:54:06 +0000 https://www.oviahealth.com/?post_type=article&p=260951 Dear Ovia is an ongoing series where we answer your love and relationship questions. To submit a question, send us a message on Instagram. We answer all questions anonymously.

Dear Ovia, I feel like my partner isn’t putting any effort into preparing for our baby. I’m running around trying to make sure everything is organized. I’m reading up on parenting styles. And he’s just so low key about it. It’s annoying me/dampening my excitement. How can I get him to care more?

I hear you on this one! It can feel especially overwhelming and annoying because when you’re pregnant, you’re also doing the lion’s share of the work.

Some food for thought

If you enjoy this preparation, don’t let his perceived lack of excitement about it dampen your spirits. Talk to friends, family or whoever else gets excited about buying furniture, clothes, books, etc. Think about times in your relationship when you didn’t have the same level of enthusiasm for something. It’s okay to be different — even though baby related things seem inherently exciting to you.

Lack of organization or prep at this point doesn’t equal not caring about this new chapter. Pregnancy often feels a little less real for the non-pregnant parent. There may be some major anxiety or uncertainty at play that he doesn’t care to burden you with. Many partners will also say that time is not as pressing — he may feel like he has AAAAAAGES to get things done, whereas you know that’s not the case! This is not meant as a series of excuses, but more of an encouragement to allow a clean slate when you begin talking (which is what you’ll need to do).

So, how can you get him more involved moving forward? 

Ask for what you need! Are you bored of picking baby items? Do you need something picked up or put together? Whatever you want off of your plate — delegate. We can all get tripped up on delegation (shouldn’t he know what to do without you asking him anyway?), but if you can start to let that go, you can begin to have fun with knocking things off your list as a team. 

If you’re worried he won’t get a task done, I’d encourage you to say something like, “The stress of “X” and remembering these details is a lot. I’m asking you to do this, and I’m not going to remind you. It’s off my list as of now.”

If you’re excited about preparing for baby as a way to spend time together, frame it that way. “I’d love to do this class together so that we can both learn about newborn care.” Finding ways to come together, even if it’s small — like listening to a podcast or picking out family pjs — just get the ball rolling. 

I want to end by saying this is not predictive in any way of how your partner will be as a parent! This is a very different phase than the one that’s coming, and it may be that his time to shine is yet to come.

Read more from this series

]]> Is pregnancy intercourse safe? https://www.oviahealth.com/guide/100994/pregnancy-sex-safety/ Wed, 14 Apr 2021 10:55:14 +0000 https://wp.oviahealth.com/guide/100994/pregnancy-sex-safety/
Sources
One of the most common things pregnant folks want to know is whether it’s safe to have intercourse. The short answer to this question is yes — in most cases, intercourse and other types of sexual activity during pregnancy are safe. But let’s take a closer look at the facts.

Babies are well-protected and can’t be touched

If you’ve ever wondered if your baby can be hurt or touched during sex, we’ve got good news. The womb is like a well-protected castle, with shields and barriers to safeguard the inside from potential intruders. At first, your baby is so microscopically small it’s protected by your uterus and surrounding muscles and structures. As they grow, your baby gains another layer of protection – they are surrounded by amniotic fluid inside the amniotic sac.  Not only that, but the vagina is long enough to keep your baby separated from any penetration. However, to protect yourself from sexually transmitted infections (STIs), which can pose a risk to the baby and your pregnancy, consider using condoms.

Babies have no idea what’s going on

If you’ve forgone pregnancy sex for fear your precious baby-to-be will be scarred for life, you wouldn’t be the first. But fortunately, this isn’t a realistic possibility. For starters, developing babies have absolutely no idea what sex is, nor can they see what’s going on outside your belly. What’s more, the amniotic fluid provides cushioning and space to float around, almost like a waterbed. Your little one is not aware or bothered by what’s happening.

Orgasms won’t make you go into early labor

There’s some suspicion that late in pregnancy, intercourse can induce labor because it triggers the release of the hormone oxytocin. While it’s true oxytocin can stimulate uterine contractions (whether you’re pregnant or not), there’s no evidence it actually leads to labor.

Certain things do make pregnancy sex unsafe

Although sex is generally safe during pregnancy, some factors can make it unsafe. Pregnancy intercourse might not be safe if:
  • You or your partner have been diagnosed with an STI
  • You have any increased risk for bleeding, like placenta previa
  • You’re at risk for preterm labor
  • Your water already broke
  • You’re carrying multiples
  • You’ve been diagnosed with cervical insufficiency
  • Your healthcare provider advised against it
  • You feel unsafe. Call the National Sexual Abuse Hotline at 1-800-656-4673 or contact them via chat at https://hotline.rainn.org/online

The bottom line with pregnancy sex

There are lots of myths about the safety of intercourse during pregnancy, but for the most part, it’s something you can enjoy if you’re up for it. If you’re ever unsure, it doesn’t hurt to ask your OB provider if it’s safe for you. Reviewed by the Ovia Health Clinical Team
Read more
Sources
]]> 5 benefits of pregnancy sex https://www.oviahealth.com/guide/100965/5-benefits-pregnancy-sex/ Tue, 30 Mar 2021 08:59:49 +0000 https://wp.oviahealth.com/guide/100965/5-benefits-pregnancy-sex/
Sources
  • Mayo Clinic Staff. “Sex during pregnancy.” Mayo Clinic. Mayo Clinic. July 31, 2016. Web.
It’s easy to find information about why it’s not a bad idea to have sex during pregnancy, but it’s also possible that that information doesn’t go far enough – where are the articles about how, beyond not being a bad thing, sex can actually be a positive addition to your during-pregnancy life? If you’re feeling up to it, there are a few ways (beyond the obvious) that having sex could actually improve your pregnancy experience.

Pelvic floor renovation

Sex can help you build your pelvic floor muscles up, which can definitely help you out in labor, but also works against the incontinence many pregnant women struggle with throughout their pregnancies. You can make the most of this by doing kegels during intercourse.

Sensational sensation

The increased bloodflow in the breast and especially the pelvic area during pregnancy can lead to increased sensation, and can increase your sexual appetite.

Sexual healing

The release of the hormone oxytocin during sex can help with the aches and pains that sometimes come with pregnancy, and can help relieve stress and add to your relaxation, which can even help you out when pregnancy insomnia strikes.

Sex without stress

Pregnancy may be one of the only times in your life when you can have sex without either trying to get pregnant, or trying not to. Why not live it up during this time?

Staying in (sensual) shape

Physical fitness is important for helping yourself stay healthy during pregnancy, and sex is a great way to get a little exercise without having to wrestle with the laces of your running shoes! You don’t need anybody else telling you about the benefits of sex, especially during pregnancy. If it feels good, and you feel comfortable, it’s probably safe and healthy. Pregnancy is a part of life, and so is sex, so it’s only natural that the two go hand-in-hand. Reviewed by the Ovia Health Clinical Team
Read more
Sources
  • Mayo Clinic Staff. “Sex during pregnancy.” Mayo Clinic. Mayo Clinic. July 31, 2016. Web.
]]> Safe sex during pregnancy https://www.oviahealth.com/guide/104303/safe-sex-during-pregnancy/ Thu, 04 Mar 2021 09:18:39 +0000 https://wp.oviahealth.com/guide/104303/safe-sex-during-pregnancy/ Sex can feel like somewhat of a new experience if you’re pregnant.

Unless you have medical issues that prevents you from having sex – and your healthcare provider would tell you if this is the case – you can safely have sex throughout your pregnancy. You might find that you and your partner have to change things up a bit when you’re really tired, or your belly is getting especially big, but with some small adjustments, you can get as frisky as you like.

It’s different for everyone, but many pregnant women do, indeed, feel like getting frisky, especially during the second trimester, although it’s also completely normal to have less of an interest in sex during pregnancy. But if you’re feeling in the mood, take advantage of those good vibes!

When is it not safe to have sex during pregnancy?

If you have a low-risk pregnancy without complications, you’ve got the green light to move ahead in the bedroom. Your healthcare provider will let you know if it isn’t safe to have sex – if, for example, you’ve been experiencing unexplained bleeding, amniotic fluid leakage, if your cervix is opening prematurely, if the location of your placenta placenta isn’t ideal, if you’re carrying multiples, or if you have a history of preterm labor or premature birth.

But if your provider does suggest that you abstain from sex for health reasons, make sure you understand the specifics of exactly what is off-limits. Is it vaginal penetration? Orgasm? Something else?

Make sure you know just what you can and can’t do, because there may be some ways you can continue to get intimate. And know that cramping during or after intercourse and orgasm are normal, but if your experience bleeding or pain, it’s a good idea to touch base with your healthcare provider. 

Do you need to use protection?

Even though you don’t need to worry about using protection to prevent unwanted pregnancy – that’s obviously not a concern right now – you do want to use protection if there is any risk of sexually transmitted diseases or sexually transmitted infections. This is especially true if you’re not in a mutually monogamous relationship, or if you have sex with a new partner while pregnant. STDs and STIs can pose a risk to you and your baby’s health, so you’ll want to take precautions as needed.

What are the best positions?

For the most part, you should let comfort be your guide as you decide what sex positions are best for you – what’s comfortable during the first trimester might be less so by the third.

Early on, you might find that anything goes and you can be as acrobatic as ever, but when your due date is fast approaching, you might find that your belly gets in the way of some of your usual positions and it’s hard for you to move around as easily as you used to.

In the third trimester it’s also not advisable for you to lie on your back because your uterus can compress certain blood vessels in this position, so you might want to try lying on your side, getting on all fours, or using pillows to support you.

Have fun, experiment, and see what works for you. And do let your partner know what feels okay and what feels not okay, even if things that you used to do and used to like don’t feel so hot right now. This is a fine – and fun – time to try something new when you need to get creative and mix things up.

Is anything off limits?

Vaginal sex is fine unless your healthcare provider has told you otherwise, and so are oral and anal sex. There are a few caveats though. If you’re on the receiving end of oral sex, your partner shouldn’t blow air into your vagina, which could cause a blocked blood vessel, and if you have hemorrhoids, anal sex might be uncomfortable. It’s also not advisable to follow anal sex with vaginal sex, as this could lead to vaginal infection.

What if you’re just not interested in sex?

There are a number of reasons why you might just not be in the mood right now. Lots of women experience fatigue, discomfort, mood swings, or a waning libido during different stages of pregnancy.

If you’re not feeling frisky – or if sex is off limits for medical reasons – there are still a lot of other ways you can connect with your partner – you can kiss, snuggle, massage, talk, laugh, and be as creative as you might normally be between the sheets to find other ways to connect. If you or your partner find sex stressful because it brings up anxieties about soon being a parent, know that these feelings are natural too.

What about after the baby arrives?

Once baby arrives, it will actually take a little while before you can have sex again. Whether you deliver your baby vaginally or by C-section, you’ll need some time to heal up down below. Your healthcare provider will see you several weeks after delivery to assess how you’re healing and will give you the go-ahead for sex when you’ve healed.

But even once you get the a-okay for this sort of intimacy, you still may not feel like it – whether because you’re tired, sore, or uncomfortable – and physically things may feel different than they did before. When that time does come, you can ease the transition by communicating with your partner and take things slow.

Reviewed by the Ovia Health Clinical Team
Read more
Sources
  • Mayo Clinic Staff. “C-section recovery: What to expect.” Mayo Clinic. Mayo Foundation for Medical Education and Research, March 20 2015. Retrieved September 27 2017. http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/labor-and-delivery/in-depth/c-section-recovery/art-20047310.
  • Mayo Clinic Staff. “Postpartum care: What to expect after a vaginal delivery.” Mayo Clinic. Mayo Foundation for Medical Education and Research, March 24 2015. Retrieved September 27 2017. http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/labor-and-delivery/in-depth/postpartum-care/art-20047233.
  • Mayo Clinic Staff. “Sex after pregnancy: Set your own timeline.” Mayo Clinic. Mayo Foundation for Medical Education and Research, July 2 2015. Retrieved September 27 2017. http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/labor-and-delivery/in-depth/sex-after-pregnancy/art-20045669.
  • Mayo Clinic Staff. “Sex during pregnancy: What’s OK, what’s not.” Mayo Clinic. Mayo Foundation for Medical Education and Research, July 31 2015. Retrieved September 27 2017. http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/pregnancy-week-by-week/in-depth/sex-during-pregnancy/art-20045318.
  • The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. “FAQ032: A partner’s guide to pregnancy.” ACOG. American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. Retrieved September 27 2017. https://www.acog.org/-/media/For-Patients/faq032.pdf.
]]> Maintaining healthy relationships https://www.oviahealth.com/guide/111407/pregnancy-maintaining-healthy-relationships/ Wed, 24 Feb 2021 13:12:14 +0000 https://wp.oviahealth.com/guide/111407/pregnancy-maintaining-healthy-relationships/

Even the happiest, most joyful and loving relationships require work and need maintenance from time to time. The ins and outs of daily life can leave us feeling disconnected and distant from our partner, which can lead to conflict. Conflict within a relationship is normal and expected, and can even be beneficial to a relationship when it is respectful. While no relationship is perfect, healthy relationships usually have a combination of the following traits:

  • Trust: Building trust in a relationship happens gradually over time and requires a mutual commitment. It is an important part of knowing that you can be open and vulnerable to share intimate thoughts, feelings, and experiences with your partner. 
  • Open and Honest Communication: Communication is essential in relationships, and yet it isn’t always easy. Being able to talk openly to your partner about your needs is important and helps to resolve conflict. 
  • Mutual Respect and Boundaries: People in healthy relationships are able to set clear and respectful boundaries with each other around their own needs and are able to respect their partner’s boundaries even if they don’t understand their perspective.
  • Affection and Interest: Healthy relationships are dependent on showing affection and taking interest in the other person.

Sometimes it can be difficult to put forth the effort it takes to maintain a relationship. Time, family, work, and other commitments can strain relationships and disconnect us from the people we love the most. It is important to take time to prioritize your relationship and to reconnect with your partner when needed. The tips below can help to successfully manage conflict and to help grow and strengthen your relationship.

Building Trust

  • Trust is built on consistency from positive behaviors over time. When trust has been broken, it may take time to heal and to build that trust again. Showing up when you say you will, keeping sensitive information private, respecting boundaries, and being honest about your feelings are all ways to help rebuild trust.
  • Say what you mean, and do what you say
  • Admit mistakes- No one is perfect and we all make mistakes. Admitting that you have made a mistake, taking ownership, and apologizing goes a long way in building trust.

Communication

  • Strike while the iron is cold- You may have heard the saying “Strike while the iron is hot” and while this can be helpful in other situations, it often doesn’t apply to having a difficult conversation. Difficult conversations can get heated quickly. Finding the right time when everyone’s calm and not distracted, rushed, or stressed can be helpful. Consider scheduling time to talk if one or both of you are particularly busy.
  • Talk face to face- Tone, body language, and facial expressions can be hard to interpret through texts or email and sometimes can be misinterpreted. If you have difficulty talking face to face, it may be helpful to write down what you want to say while you are talking to your partner so that you don’t forget key points you want to make. You can also talk while walking or driving if a little less eye contact feels more manageable. Ending the conversation with eye contact or physical touch can be a great way to sum things up and release tension.
  • Avoid Attacks- Using “I feel…” statements without blaming or shaming your partner can be helpful in having a productive conversation. When people feel attacked, they become defensive and are less likely to engage in a productive conversation. For example, saying, “I feel we have been more disconnected lately,” rather than “You are always so distant,” can allow space for your partner to engage in the conversation in a different way.
  • Be honest- If something is bothering you, it is important to share it, even if it is difficult. Your partner cannot read your mind, even though you may wish they could.
  • Take a break- If the conversation gets too heated, you can always ask for some time before continuing the conversation. Taking time to calm down can prevent creating more conflict.
  • Check in with your body. If you’re tense, take a few deep breaths or walk outside briefly. Releasing some of the physical tension can make verbal communication less intense.
  • Listen- So often, we are busy forming our reply to what the other person is saying that we don’t really hear them. You don’t have to agree with everything they are saying but try to find a piece of what they are saying that you can build upon. Saying nothing is a powerful way to continue a conversation by allowing the other person to explore their feelings out loud.
  • Negotiate- Sometimes, offering up a solution that meets both needs can be helpful. Can’t think of one? Ask the other person if they have any ideas on how you can come to a compromise.
  • Be a Broken Record- It is easy to get thrown off track when a partner tries to bring up unrelated issues during a conversation. Having a short sentence prepared that you can repeat each time when this happens can be helpful. For example, “We can talk about who takes the trash out later, right now, we’re talking about how we can connect more often.”
  • Use communication as a form of meaningful connection- At times, communication can limit our ability to be seen or heard. Oftentimes we go about our day without really connecting with people. How many times have you passed someone and asked, “Hey, how are you?” only to get a response of “I’m good” or “fine” and wondered if the other person was actually fine or good? At times, we follow social norms that can leave us, or the other person, feeling unseen and unheard by others. By checking in with your partner to see how they really are, you let them know you want to connect with them in a different way. 

Mutual Respect and Boundaries

  • Assume the other person is doing the best they can with what they have. When you assume that people have negative intentions, it shifts the lens of respect, and you assume the other person is trying to be disrespectful or hurtful in some way. If you assume the other person has positive intentions and is doing the best they can with a situation, it then becomes a problem to work on together rather than separately.
  • Show empathy- be able to put yourself in your partner’s shoes and see the experience from their point of view and background experiences. This does not mean that you have to agree with them, but that you are able to see their point of view and how they came to a decision or conclusion.
  • Boundaries are based on your values and what is important to you. When boundaries are not clear, it is easy for someone to impose on those values without even knowing. Being aware of your limits and in touch with your emotions can help guide you to knowing where your boundaries are so that you can communicate them to your partner.

Affection and Interest

  • Going back and remembering why you fell in love in the first place can be helpful in decreasing tension in relationships. Try to think of things you and your partner used to do before daily stressors began to creep in. Make a plan to engage in some of those activities.
  • Sending quick texts letting your partner know you are thinking about them during the day
  • A small touch or wink when you pass them
  • Engaging in small acts of love, often can build intimacy and help the other person to know that you see them and value them.

The key to healthy relationships is putting in the time and energy it takes to maintain them. You and your partner are each responsible for your relationship, one person can never take full responsibility. However, at times, one partner may be carrying a heavier share of the load. This may be okay from time to time, however, finding balance in how this is done is part of the work within a relationship. Sometimes, couples need assistance in figuring out how to manage this balance or have difficulty in one of the areas above. If this is happening to you and your partner, finding a couple’s therapist in your area may be helpful. Many couples who go to therapy find that it increases and strengthens the bond they share. You do not have to wait until your relationship is on the brink of disaster. Many couples with strong relationships go to therapy just to make sure that their relationship is as good as it can be. Times of transition (like when a couple is TTC, pregnant or postpartum) are good opportunities to see a therapist for a “tune-up”. 

Recognizing Unhealthy Relationships and Emergency Resources

While healthy relationships can require a lot of work, it is also important to know when a relationship may cross over to being unsafe. Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) is a pattern of behaviors used by one partner to maintain power and control over another partner in an intimate relationship. These behaviors may include, but are not limited to:

  • Repeatedly using words, yelling, or screaming in a way that frightens you, threatens you, puts you down, or makes you feel rejected
  • Making you afraid that you could be physically hurt
  • Threatening you with a weapon to scare or hurt you
  • Forcing or coercing you to have sex or controlling or denying you access to birth control 
  • Slapping, kicking, pushing, choking, or punching you

According to Futures Without Violence, an organization working to prevent and end violence against women and children around the world, 1 in 4 women in the U.S. have experienced violence by a partner at some point in their lives. It is important to know that this is not your fault and you are not alone. If you, or someone you know, ever feels unsafe in their relationship, there is help.

The National Domestic Violence Hotline is available 24/7 in English and Spanish by phone, text, or live chat:

  • To reach them by phone, call 1-800-799-7233
  • If you are unable to speak safely, you can log onto thehotline.org and click the “Chat Now” button for a live chat on their website
  • You can access their text line by texting “START” to 88788

Resources

Thehotline.org – National Domestic Violence Hotline

Loveisrespect.org

Futureswithoutviolence.org

Santuaryforfamilies.org

The Gottman Institute

One Love Foundation

State-specific resources

Reviewed by the Ovia Health Clinical Team

Read more

]]> Burning after intercourse https://www.oviahealth.com/guide/102537/pregnancy-symptoms-burning-after-intercourse/ Mon, 22 Feb 2021 17:08:20 +0000 https://wp.oviahealth.com/guide/102537/pregnancy-symptoms-burning-after-intercourse/ A vaginal burning sensation after intercourse during pregnancy is generally caused by the same things that can cause burning after intercourse at any other time. These include yeast infections and other vaginal infections. Sharp vaginal pain, related or unrelated to intercourse, can also be caused by varicose veins, especially later in pregnancy.

What causes it?

Yeast infections and other vaginal infections are more common during pregnancy because the hormonal changes in the body can change the pH balance of the vagina. Other common signs of yeast infections include vaginal itching, and thick, white discharge. Discharge that is yellow, green, or strong-smelling may be a sign of a different type of vaginal infection.

Sex, as well as exercise and standing up for a long time, can also cause pain for women with vulvar varicose veins, or varicose veins in the vulva. The added pressure caused by physical changes including increased blood volume during pregnancy is when vulvar varicose veins are most common.

Tips?

Yeast infections during pregnancy can be treated with the same topical, over the counter medications that are used to treat yeast infections outside of pregnancy, but it’s a good idea to check in with your healthcare provider first, to make sure it’s definitely a yeast infection.

There aren’t many treatment options for vulvar varicose veins during pregnancy, but avoiding standing for too long without a break, swimming, and elevating your hips when lying down can all help relieve pressure, which can help to relieve the pain.

Reviewed by the Ovia Health Clinical Team 

Read more

Sources

  • Mary M. Murry. “Vulvar varicose veins: I have varicose veins where?” Mayo Clinic. Mayo Clinic, September 11 2013. Web.
  • Yvonne Butler Tobah. “Yeast infection during pregnancy: Are over-the-counter treatments okay?” Mayo Clinic. Mayo Clinic, OCTOBER 29 2015. Web.
  • “Yeast Infection and Vaginitis.” Planned Parenthood. Planned Parenthood, 2017. Web.
]]> Increased sex drive during pregnancy https://www.oviahealth.com/guide/10491/increased-sex-drive-during-pregnancy/ Mon, 22 Feb 2021 16:33:43 +0000 https://wp.oviahealth.com/guide/10491/increased-sex-drive-during-pregnancy/ An increased sex drive is often one of the more welcome symptoms of pregnancy.

What causes it?

Hormones, of course! The elevated levels of certain hormones — like progesterone and estrogen — in your body during pregnancy may be the most likely culprits for your heightened libido. Additionally, the increased blood flow that helps support Baby also increases blood flow to the vulva, which can enhance sexual pleasure during pregnancy.

Tips?

Live it up! Besides thinking about something completely unappealing, there’s not much advice we can give you in the way of reducing your sex drive. Throughout most pregnancies, though, sex is perfectly safe and healthy. Certain pregnancy-related complications can mean sex isn’t safe during pregnancy, but in the absence of these, if you’re in the mood, get to it!

Reviewed by the Ovia Health Clinical Team

Read more
Sources
  • Mayo Clinic Staff. “Sex during pregnancy: What’s OK, what’s not.” MayoClinic. Mayo Foundation for Medical Education and Research, Jul 2015. Web. Accessed 6/28/17. Available at http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/pregnancy-week-by-week/in-depth/sex-during-pregnancy/art-20045318.
  • “Sex during pregnancy.” MarchofDimes. March of Dimes Foundation, Jun 2015. Web. Accessed 6/28/17. Available at http://www.marchofdimes.org/pregnancy/sex-during-pregnancy.aspx.
]]> Decreased sex drive during pregnancy https://www.oviahealth.com/guide/10490/decreased-sex-drive-during-pregnancy/ Mon, 22 Feb 2021 16:33:25 +0000 https://wp.oviahealth.com/guide/10490/decreased-sex-drive-during-pregnancy/ A decrease in libido, or sex drive, is a very common symptom during pregnancy.

What causes it?

There are many possible explanations for what is causing a decrease in sex drive during pregnancy, all of which are very normal. Although people often associate hormone fluctuations with a roaring libido, the opposite may also be true. The body can have varying reactions to changing hormone levels, and a decreased sex drive is very much one of them. And depending on the symptoms and stage of pregnancy, you may simply not feel like having sex. All of this is perfectly normal.

Tips?

As with most hormone-related effects, it can be difficult to reignite a decreased libido. Many people are not as sexually active while they are carrying babies as they were before, or will be after. However, if you’re looking to kick things back up a notch, you know what you like, so try it solo or communicate it to your partner!

Reviewed by the Ovia Health Clinical Team

Read more
Sources
  • Mayo Clinic Staff. “Low sex drive in women.” Mayo Clinic. Mayo Clinic, 8/28/2015. Web.
  • Mayo Clinic Staff. “Sex during pregnancy: What’s OK, what’s not.” Mayo Clinic. Mayo Clinic, 7/31/2015. Web.
  • W Back. “Sex during pregnancy.” March of Dimes. March of Dimes, 6/15/2015. Web.

]]> The couples’ guide to sex & intimacy during pregnancy https://www.oviahealth.com/guide/103460/pregnancy-sex-intimacy-during-and-after/ Mon, 08 Feb 2021 09:59:20 +0000 https://wp.oviahealth.com/guide/103460/pregnancy-sex-during-and-after/
Sara Lindberg

Sara LindbergFreelance writer focused on health & wellness

Sex is often one of the last things on a parent-to-be’s list of questions for their doctor. Between ultrasounds, proper nutrition, rest, and preparing for the arrival of a newborn, life becomes consumed with everything baby. This change in focus and energy leaves many parents-to-be unsure about how sex fits into their lives now that pregnancy, and eventually a newborn baby, is involved.

Sex during pregnancy

Your sex drive can change dramatically during pregnancy, and can even change from trimester to trimester. A fluctuating libido may bring about feelings of anxiety as you try to make sense of all the changes happening to your body. Some people will experience a dramatic increase in their sex drive, while others will find they’re just not in the mood. There are a variety of reasons pregnancy can cause changes in your sexual desire. Fatigue, feeling nauseous, body image concerns, and fear of causing harm to the fetus are just a few of the reasons parents-to-be give for being uninterested in sex.

Amanda Pasciucco, a licensed marriage and family therapist and AASECT certified sex therapist, says that, mentally and emotionally, pregnancy initiates this nesting process where the baby becomes the primary focus, instead of the sexual connection between partners. “Interests start to become parenting instead of partnering (the couple focuses on becoming a parent unit instead of a romantic partner unit),” she explains.

Because of this, sex and intimacy often get put on hold. Before long, many couples find themselves wondering what happened to their physical connection. Communicating with each other about needs, desires, and feelings, while showing patience, kindness, and understanding will help couples work through this stage.

Pasciucco recommends a few exercises on mindfulness around sexual connection that can be very useful during pregnancy and postpartum. She recommends that couples sit knee to knee and stare at each other for three minutes, with the focus being on eye gazing. Just taking the time to look only at one another and not focus on their busy days or making any plans, helps couples strengthen their bond.

Sex after childbirth

Yes, you will have sex again. It just might take some time and patience. Whether you give birth vaginally or by C-section, your body will need time to heal. It’s always best to follow your doctor’s recommendations when it come to getting sexual postpartum. And while there is no set “waiting period” before you can have sex again after birth, many health care professionals will advise you to wait four to six weeks. According to the American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG), the chances of a problem occurring, like bleeding or infection, are small about two weeks following birth. If you had an episiotomy or a tear during birth, you may want to wait to have intercourse until the site has completely healed.

And it’s perfectly normal not to be interested in sex right away, or for several months, after childbirth. Being intimate does not always have to result in intercourse. Many couples find other ways to show affection, meet their physical needs, and still stay connected to one another. The key is to make an effort to be bonded physically as much as possible. Kissing, holding hands, and cuddling are all ways to show affection. As a new parent, if you’re struggling with the desire to be physical, or you find that you’re not emotionally ready yet, it’s important to share those concerns with your partner. Sexual connection comes from open communication between partners and if you are not being honest about what you need, it may be difficult for your partner to support you in the best way possible. One example of how to introduce this topic is to say something positive about your partner, state your concern, and close with an alternative solution to the problem you are facing. Pasciucco believes this is a compassionate way for couples to begin the process of reconnecting and recommends couples make a commitment to return to sex when both are physically and emotionally ready.

About the author:
Sara Lindberg is a freelance writer focusing on parenting, health, and wellness. She is passionate about all things fitness and health and loves spending time with her husband, daughter, and son.

Read more

Sources

  • Mayo Clinic Staff. “Sex after pregnancy: Set your own timeline.” Mayo Clinic. Mayo Clinic, July 2 2015. Retrieved July 12 2017. http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/labor-and-delivery/in-depth/sex-after-pregnancy/art-20045669.
  • “A Partner’s Guide to Pregnancy.” American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. Frequently Asked Questions, 032. May 2016. Retrieved July 12 2017. https://www.acog.org/Patients/FAQs/A-Partners-Guide-to-Pregnancy. 
]]> Sex during the third trimester https://www.oviahealth.com/guide/10124/sex-during-third-trimester/ Fri, 05 Feb 2021 15:04:43 +0000 https://wp.oviahealth.com/guide/10124/sex-during-third-trimester/ It’s true that when you’re pregnant, sometimes you have to give up some fun things – there’s just no way around it. Whether you’re a tattoo enthusiast, a roller derby regular, or a hobbyist astronaut, most pregnant people abstain from or cut down on some hobbies, activities, or behavior they love. Fortunately, there’s one pregnancy-safe activity that can be enjoyed right up until the day of delivery: sex.

Is sex during the third trimester safe?

Absolutely! If you’re having a normal, healthy pregnancy without any complications, sex is totally safe right up until the day of delivery. In fact, some believe that sex in the days leading up to delivery can coax a baby out sooner!

Even though you know sex is totally safe during the third trimester and your libido might be running wild, convincing your partner that sex will not hurt the baby can sometimes be difficult. They may worry that their prowess could be putting the baby at risk. Without bursting their bubble, let them know that they are nowhere near close to reaching the baby, using descriptive measurements if need be.

Is sex during the third trimester safe for you?

Not only is sex during the third trimester safe, it’s downright healthy! Women often experience a heightened sex drive during late pregnancy, so feel free to have some fun! Finding a comfortable position can be a bit difficult, but some experimenting and positional creativity should do the trick. “Spooning” is one of the lowest impact positions that will avoid putting pressure on your internal organs, so many in their third trimester tout this as the most enjoyable.

Are there any times when sex during the third trimester is not safe?

Although third-trimester sex is perfectly healthy most of the time, there are a few instances in which you should avoid having sex.

  • Bleeding or spotting after sex: If you notice bleeding or spotting after sex, you should probably avoid intercourse, at least until you talk to your healthcare provider to determine the cause.
  • Placenta previa: This is a pregnancy complication in which the placenta either partially or totally covers the cervix. If you’ve been diagnosed with placenta previa, you should probably avoid having vaginal sex, as it could cause a more serious issue.
  • Once your water has broken: It’s important to avoid having sex after your water breaks, as your baby is no longer protected from possible infections.

The bottom line

Even if it seems like it may be a bit uncomfortable, sex during the third trimester is a totally normal and healthy activity to engage in and can help bring you and your partner closer as you prepare to grow your family!

Reviewed by the Ovia Health Clinical Team

Read more

]]>