You might feel like you can’t possibly clean up when you hardly have enough time to sleep or shower. And while you certainly shouldn’t be hard on yourself if it doesn’t always get done, there are ways to maintain your home while dealing with it all.

Clean home tips for a hectic lifestyle

Even if you’re not typically the tidiest person, living in a messy environment can elevate your stress and make it harder to focus — so keeping things clean is particularly crucial if you work from home.

Here are some tips to help you maintain a tidy space.

Recruit help

If you feel like cleaning your home mostly falls on you, a family chore chart might help. They can make it easier to divvy up tasks. Plus, it takes the pressure off you to remind each person what they’re supposed to do.

If it’s within your budget, consider having a professional cleaning service come to your home once or twice a month. You can also reach out to nonjudgmental friends and family who can help you take on the tasks at hand. Buy some pizza or make an easy dessert to thank them for their much-needed support.

Try 5-minute nightly clean-ups

If the thought of cleaning your entire home seems insurmountable, try straightening up for five minutes every night before bed instead. Set a timer and do whatever you can — you might be surprised how much cleaner your space is after just five minutes!

Do one thing before leaving a room

Each time you leave a room, do one thing to make it cleaner. This could be bringing an empty cup to the kitchen, taking out the garbage, pushing in the chairs, folding a blanket, or putting shoes away.

Get tools and supplies that make it easier

Cleaning might not be fun, but it doesn’t have to be particularly hard or complicated. With that in mind, consider tools and supplies that make it easier.

For instance, if you cringe at the thought of vacuuming because your vacuum is cumbersome or there aren’t enough accessible outlets, a cordless stick vac might solve this issue. Or, in a pinch, grab that sticky roller and take care of annoying lint and dust around the house.

Or if your kitchen towels always seem to be in the laundry when you need them to wipe down the counters, disposable cleaning wipes could be a simple solution. For those who prioritize eco-friendliness, there are many non-toxic, biodegradable options.

Try a few things, see what works, and figure out a plan to maintain a cleaner, more pleasant space where you can breathe a little easier and relax a bit.

How utilize mental health support

Having a support system in place can be a great way to make sure you’re ready for the inevitable ups and downs of life.

It doesn’t have to look like what you expect

Is there someone in your life you would feel comfortable sharing your struggles with? It doesn’t have to be the person you might feel you’re expected to turn to. Maybe the person who usually falls into the best friend category for you is a little high-strung, and opening up the question of mental health support with that person feels harder than not asking for help at all right now. That’s okay, and it doesn’t mean that person isn’t important to you. There may be someone else in your life who is a better listener, or someone who has more time for you. Maybe it’s a casual friend that can help you the most right now. You can try to turn that casual friendship into a more serious one by opening up, and sometimes this is a great opportunity.

Get specific

Asking for help is hard, and getting too specific about what kind of help you need can feel even harder, but even the people in your life who know you best can’t read your mind. If you’re having a hard time, and thinking you’ll do better reaching out and asking for help, sitting down and making a short list of exactly what might help you out – anything from a more general “please don’t ask me about,” a certain subject, “I’ll tell you when I’m ready,” to the more specific, “I need to take a break from cooking at night until things quiet down at work” – can help whoever it is you’re asking for help figure out the best way to support you.

Give a little to get a little

The strongest support system is one that’s mutually supportive. This can be tricky in moments when you’re the person who needs help, but it’s important to remember that by sharing vulnerability, you are offering friends, family, and others the chance to feel more open to sharing their own vulnerabilities or insecurities. Maybe you have that one friend who acts like a superhero, and always seems to be completely on top of things, even when their life is full of challenges and changes. It can be hard to feel comfortable sharing when you’re having trouble with a friend like that – but if you hide it every time you’re having trouble, they may feel the same way about you.

Asking for help can feel selfish, but everyone needs help at some point. If you make a point of reminding the people in your life that you’re committed to being there for them in the best way you can when it’s their turn, you’re offering the chance to deepen your relationship. Actively listening to what’s going on in the lives of the people in your support network, and doing your best to offer the kind of support they need isn’t just offering that chance, it’s taking an active part in maintaining and developing that relationship.

Think outside the box

Your support system doesn’t have to just consist of people you already know. For one thing, depending on why or how you’re starting to feel overwhelmed, talking to a therapist or looking for a support group can be a great place to get started, especially if you’re not sure how to bring the subject up with the people in your life already. Taking a step like this can make whatever you’re coping with feel more real – and sometimes that’s exactly what you need, as a reminder that your feelings are valid.

You also don’t need to talk to everyone in your life about everything that’s going on in your life. If opening up a big conversation about how you’re feeling seems out of reach, try just asking for help in a simple way. A friend may be willing to help you out if you ask them to carpool to get your toddler to dance class. Your sister may be perfectly happy to take the reins on planning the next family event.

Practice these daily routines to help with managing depression

Sometimes, it’s easy to be harder on yourself than you’d ever allow or want yourself to be with someone else, especially when you’re dealing with depression. When you feel like this, picking some of the people in your life who you love, and who love you, and trying to talk to yourself the way you’d want someone to talk to those people if they were having a hard time can be a good frame for speaking generously to yourself. Like “fake it till you make it,” the way people speak to themselves inside their heads can have a huge impact of the way they think about themselves, and the way they feel, and can easily turn into feedback loops of bad feelings. Making a point to speak to yourself kindly can help to pull you out of the loop of speaking unkindly to yourself in a way that you internalize and feel worse because of.

Some suggestions for dealing with depression – or even most of them – can feel too simple to make much difference, or so often-repeated that it can feel like they can’t possibly make a difference. It’s true that no single one of these strategies may bring an end to depression, but finding the combination that works for you, in conjunction with the type of treatment that works best with your body chemistry and lifestyle, can make a big difference in helping you start to feel better.

Get it out there

Writing in a journal can offer an outlet for getting emotions out without opening them to any judgement, and can give you a way to keep track of your thoughts and notice any patterns in them. For example, do certain thought-patterns seem to go along with more severe depressive symptoms? That’s good information to have, and so is any strategy you might notices for steering your thoughts in other directions.

For endorphins’ sake

Getting into a regular exercise schedule is one of the most common pieces of advice when it comes to managing depression, and in turn, it’s one of the most dismissed pieces of advice. It’s true that exercise isn’t a magic bullet for depression, but getting outside and moving around on a regular basis has a whole host of benefits that can contribute to starting to feeling better. Between the sun, the change of scenery, the endorphins, and the fresh air, anything from a walk around the block to training for a marathon can be a healthy part of managing depression.

Treatment

Depression is a medical condition, but there’s a lot of stigma around it. Some may mistakenly characterize it as a personal problem, and to be resistant to seeking out treatment from professionals. If depression is negatively affecting your quality of life, seek help. Medication, psychotherapy, or some combination of the two, can have a huge positive impact on your life. Just like with these informal strategies, finding the treatment plan that works well for you can take some trial and error, and figuring out how to be patient with yourself and your medical team will be an important part of the process.

Setting up a pattern

Having a strong routine in your life  can help you demonstrate to yourself what you’re capable of, especially when you’re having an especially hard time. It can help to keep self-care tasks from slipping during difficult episodes, and when depression does become severe enough to interfere with routines, having those routines set up to begin as a control can show how much is changing.

General physical health

A lack of physical health doesn’t cause depression, but it can certainly contribute to it. Making sure to eat a balanced diet, get enough sleep (but notice if you find yourself sleeping more and more often), avoiding alcohol and street drugs can help keep you in your best shape possible to combat depression.

Reach out

Often, during periods of strong depression, spending time with people can be one of the early things that gets cut out. Isolating yourself can create a feedback loop of bad feelings, though, whereas spending time with someone, even if the sound of that feels exhausting, can be a way to get out of your own head a bit. Making a point to reach out to people who feel restful or helpful to you during this time, instead of the people who may ask more from your energy reserves, can help to make social experiences during periods of depression more meaningful and positive.

Fake it till you make it

Sometimes, especially during a spell of depression, putting on a can-do attitude – even if it’s not how you feel – is a great way to get through a difficult or challenging day, from a huge family gathering to coordinating with an electrician or landlord over an unexpected wiring problem in your house, to a normal day of work at a time when you just don’t think you can do it. One of the reasons faking it till you make it works is that putting on an attitude can help to infect you with some of the feelings you’re putting on, but that benefit also comes with a caution. It’s also key for you to know and understand how you’re really feeling. Denial about depression can mean putting off making the changes that can help you feel better.

Other things to consider

Depression can make even the simplest tasks feel more challenging, and managing changes to your life, routine, and comfort zone when you’re experiencing depression can feel like an especially dangerous game. Making changes can help you feel out the shifts in your routine that can better support your changes in mood, attitude, and mental health, though. Dealing with depression means that you may be able to benefit from a certain amount of extra support, but by making changes in your own life, some of that support can come directly from you.

Signs of depression and when to talk to a doctor about it

Most people experience majority of the symptoms of depression at some point in their lives, to one degree or another, and it can be hard to tell which moods and feelings are symptoms of disorders which require treatment. For this reason, many people who do have depression or other mood disorders are diagnosed many years after noticing symptoms, or are never diagnosed or treated at all.

Watch out for these symptoms and signs of depression

There are a wide range of symptoms of depression, and some of them are physical, which can make it easier for some people to figure out how and when to reach out and ask for help. Both physical and emotional symptoms may be signs of depression if they last for two weeks or longer. Physical symptoms of depression include:

• Changes in sleep, whether that’s sleeping more often than usual, or insomnia
• A loss of appetite, or increased craving for food, causing either over- or under-eating
• A loss of sex drive
• Tiredness or lack of energy
• Aches and pains or headaches with no obvious cause

The emotional effects of depression can vary widely, from a consistent level of negative feelings all the way to feeling suicidal or hopeless. Emotional symptoms of depression can include:

• Feelings of sadness, hopelessness or feeling on the edge of tears
• Anger, irritability, or frustration, especially anger or frustration that feels excessive to events
• A loss of interest or pleasure in favorite things or interests
• Slowed thoughts, speaking and movements
• Agitation, twitchiness or restlessness
• Feelings of guilt, inability to let go of past mistakes or blame
• Thoughts of death or suicide

Thoughts of suicide should be treated as a medical emergency and you should go to your local emergency room right away.

Depression can be caused and set off by different things at different times. Sometimes depression is triggered  more by life events and stressors. Other times, it’s more determined by brain chemistry, regardless of life and stressors. Often, it’s some combination of the two. In any case, when depression affects your life, reaching out to a healthcare provider  for treatment and support is one of the best ways to start to work towards recovery.

Talking to your provider

Depression is a serious condition, and not something that one snaps out of by force of will. The earlier treatment starts, the faster and more effectively one can begin to start feeling better.

Primary care providers tend to be the first line of defense against depression. Starting the conversation about your mental health with the healthcare provider you’re the most comfortable with is never a bad idea, but it’s also good to remember that most PCPs don’t specialize in mental health treatment, and mental health providers like psychiatrists can be fantastic resources as you start to figure out what your needs around treatment are.

• Peer support groups (such as Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), Narcotics Anonymous (NA), etc.)
• Therapy and Psychiatry
• Inpatient detox/residential drug or alcohol treatment
• Medication-assisted treatments
• And more

You can visit the online SAMHSA treatment locator, or send your zip code via text message: 435748 (HELP4U) to find help near you. Read more about the HELP4U text messaging service.

The lists below are not all-encompassing, but they should help you get started with your goals. 

Substance Use Resources

Alcohol Resources

Opioid Resources

Smoking/Tobacco Resources

Mental Health Providers

To Learn More About Substance Use and Health 

Next Steps

Reducing or eliminating substances is not always easy! It can certainly be a challenge, but with the proper support, you can be on your way towards achieving your goals.   

The first step is connecting with a resource that is right for you. You can also speak with your primary care provider to discuss any concerns you may have. Your insurance company should be able to provide you with guidance on inpatient and outpatient treatment when needed.  

There is hope.  Reach out and allow yourself to receive support because you deserve to be healthy and happy! 

Reviewed by the Ovia Health Clinical Team

We meditated with Faith Hunter, learned about the importance of sleep with Angela Holliday-Bell, and participated in a healing, positive affirmation exercise with Leasa Wright.

Here are the most important moments from the event, hosted by Denise Albert, in case you weren’t able to attend.

A short, guided meditation session on how to help reduce stress with Faith Hunter

Breath work gives us the ability to center ourselves. Faith led us in a breathing exercise that you can do at home, here’s how:

• Take your right hand, close your index and middle finger towards your palm
• Take your right thumb and use it to close your right nostril 
• Breath in through your left nostril
• Close off your left nostril with your ring finder 
• Release your right nostril 
• Exhale through your right nostril
• Inhale through your right nostril
• Close it off
• Exhale through your left nostril
• Inhale through your left nostril
• Repeat

Stress management and self-care with Dinah Eke, Amanda McKay, and Brooke Davis 

Dinah, Amanda, and Brooke discussed the importance of taking small moments in the middle of the day to be mindful. Check in with yourself: How are you feeling? Are you drinking enough water? Are you getting a little movement? Are you getting outside? Take a little time for yourself.

When it comes to practical ways to destress, there are two options: address the stress head-on or escape it through distraction.

Dinah offered some advice about the way list-making helps her de-stress. Just writing down the thoughts that are leading to stress can makes it feel more manageable. And when you just need to escape the stress, Amanda recommends distracting yourself away by getting outside, listening to a podcast, or just laying down for a moment. 

And remember, it’s OK to bring other people into the conversation. Ask for help from family and friends. Ask for flexibility from your manager.

Wellness check with Elaine Bishop

Signs that you are experiencing an amount of stress that could be damaging to your mental health:

• Overwhelming feelings of sadness 
• Difficulty enjoying things you used to enjoy
• Relationship changes: are you having more trouble reading other people’s social signals? Are you declining social invitations more than usual?
• Appetite changes: Are you experiencing significant increased or decreased appetite?
• Substance use: Are you turning to drink more often than before? Are you developing feelings of dependence?
• Thoughts of harming yourself 

If you are feeling any of these feelings, know that there is help. Try contacting the National Alliance on Mental Illness either by phone at: 1800-950-6264 or by email at: info@nami.org.

Tips from physician and sleep specialist, Dr. Holliday-Bell

The first step to getting better sleep is prioritizing better sleep. Better sleep helps reduce stress. Dr. Holliday-Bell outlined a few specific tips:

• Decide on a bedtime and wake time
• Stick to a consistent schedule (weekends count too!)
• Create a relaxing, 30-60 min bedtime routine
• Keep your bedroom dark, quiet, and cool
• Master a relaxation technique (like deep breathing)

Breath work and affirmation practice with Leasa Wright 

We closed out Stressless Fest with a series of affirmations from Leasa Wright. To try and reduce stress levels, practice this at home. Close your eyes and think of a happy memory or a happy place. Then repeat out loud to yourself:

• I live in my truth
• I boldly and freely express myself
• I follow my dreams
• I welcome goodness; I welcome love 

This may feel uncomfortable at first, but after a few rounds of these affirmations, the Stressless Fest attendees felt calmer, lighter, and more confident. We hope you will too!

Sponsored by Airwick, Enfamil, and Beyond Yoga 

Stress and fertility

Stress interferes with fertility because when you’re experiencing chronic stressors, your brain produces more hormones like cortisol and epinephrine, which can interfere with your ovulation. More importantly, stress can impact other factors such as weight problems, sleep deprivation, and lack of sex drive. All of these can significantly interfere with fertility and make conception more difficult, which is where yoga comes in play.

Yoga and other athletic pursuits are an important part of weight and stress management, which in turn, can lead to higher fertility rates and greater chance at conceiving. The stretching and breath techniques practiced during yoga can help relieve stress by releasing endorphins, your body’s “feel-good” hormones.

Physical benefits of yoga

• Slow your mind and release stress and tension: Practicing gentle yoga such as Hatha or Kripalu once a day, alongside other activities such as meditating, allows your body to get rid of all your daily stressors and increase wellness.
• Strengthens your pelvic floor: These muscles are essential for pregnancy and even your sex life. Squats are a good way to help tone these integral muscles.
• Aligns your hips, pelvis, and lower back: Positions such as bridge facilitate lower body alignment and stimulates your endocrine and immune systems.
• Brings you closer to your partner: Yoga can wring out your insides and release emotion, helping connect and build emotional and physical strength with your partner.

Read more

• 5 herbs to boost fertility
• Can fertility supplements help me conceive?

Sources

• Smith C, Hancock H, Blake-Mortimer J, Eckert K. “A randomised comparative trial of yoga and relaxation to reduce stress and anxiety.” Complementary Therapies in Medicine. 15(2):77-83. Web. June is 7, 2015.
• Gyorgy Csemiczky, Britt-Marie Landgren, Aila Collins. “The influence of stress and state anxiety on the outcome of IVF-treatment: Psychological and endocrinological assessment of Swedish women entering IVF-treatment.” Acta Obstetrica et Gynecologica Scandinavica. Volume 79, Issue 2, pages 113-118. Web. December 24, 2001.
• Louis GM, Lum KJ, Sundaram R, Chen Z, Kim S, Lynch CD, Schisterman EF, Pyper C. “Stress reduces conception probabilities across the fertile window: evidence in support of relaxation.” Fertility & Sterility. 95(7):2184-9. Web. June 11, 2015.

By Gabrielle Kassel, Contributing writer

PSA: Sexually transmitted infections are not the only infections that can make home in or on your genital area. Yeast infections, bacterial vaginosis, and urinary tract infections are all totally curable infections that can people can get, even if they’ve never ever had sex. Really!

Important things to consider about genital infections

Read on to learn more about the three types of infections — including intel on how they differ from sexually transmitted infections also found in genital areas.

What is a urinary tract infection?

A urinary tract infection takes place when bacteria (usually E. coli) gets lodged in the urethra, occasionally traveling up the urinary tract to the bladder and/or kidneys.

What causes UTIs, exactly? Anytime outsider bacteria gets introduced to the urethra, there’s risk for infection. This could happen in a number of ways, including through sex. A UTI could also be caused from bacteria from the anus being brought forward towards the urethra, for example while wiping or during sex.

While people of all genitals can get UTIs, urinary tract infections are far more common in those with vaginas than penises because the urethra is so much shorter. This means that the distance the bacteria has to travel in order to get to the bladder is shorter, increasing the odds that the infectious agent makes it to the infection-site.

Common symptoms include:

• Frequent urination
• Pain or discomfort while urinating
• Urine that is cloudy or pink in color
• Lower abdominal or pelvic pain or cramping
• Rectal pain

A UTI can be diagnosed with a quick urine sample — for more information on how to properly collect a urine same, head here. If tested-positive, your healthcare provider will prescribe a round of antibiotics which will begin to clear the infection up in as little as 24 to 72 hours. The type of antibiotics will vary based on the type of bacteria found in the sample, as well as the location (urethra, bladder, or kidneys) of the infection.

What is a yeast infection?

Also known as candidiasis, a yeast infection occurs when there is an overgrowth of the fungi “candida” in the body.

Anybody can get a yeast infection. But those with vaginas are far (far!) more likely to be infected — nearly 75% will have a yeast infection at least once in their lifetime. Less than 1% of those with pensises will get a yeast infection in their lifetime.

The health of the internal canal of the vagina is regulated by something called the vaginal microbiome which is made up of millions of bacteria, yeast, and fungi that work the vagina’s bodyguard and janitorial staff, keeping the it clean while also warding off infectious pathogens.

When the vaginal microbiome becomes disrupted — which can occur from a variety of things including antibiotic use, pregnancy, uncontrolled diabetes, sitting in wet or sweaty clothes, oral contraceptives, interaction with another person’s natural genital bacteria, or use fragrant body washes — the owner becomes susceptible to a yeast infection.

Common symptoms include:

• Cottage-cheese-textured discharge
• Itching and irritation on the vulva, penis, or taint, or inside vaginal canal
• Pain or burning while urinating or during sex
• Redness, swelling, or irritation

Yeast infections can be diagnosed with a pelvic exam or lab test. Usually, they can be cured with a one to seven day regimen of anti-fungal topical or oral medication. However, if left untreated long enough the infection can travel elsewhere in the body and require a more rigorous course of treatment to be eliminated.

What is bacterial vaginosis?

Bacterial vaginosis names the condition in which there is an overgrowth of certain bacteria in the vaginal microbiome. As the name suggests, BV is a condition that only affects those with vaginas.

Similar to yeast infections, anything that upsets the vaginal microbiome can result in BV. However, things like douching, having sex with someone new, using fragrant washes and detergents, and smoking can all increase the risk.

Common symptoms include:

• Fishy or foul smelling odor
• Thin or loose discharge
• Vaginal or vulvar itching
• Burning while peeing

Bacterial vaginosis can be diagnosed through a pelvic exam, vaginal secretion or vaginal pH test. To treat bacterial vaginosis, your healthcare provider may prescribe an oral or intravaginal cream that should clear up the infection within a few days.

How are these infections different from STIs?

The main difference is how the infections are classified. Yeast infections, bacterial vaginosis, and UTIs are not classified as STIs.

While sex can increase risk of yeast infection, bacterial vaginosis, and UTIs, they are not considered sexually transmitted infections because they are not infections transmitted from one person to another. All sexually transmitted infections are strictly transmitted from an STI-positive person, to someone who is not positive for that STI through direct skin-to-skin contact or through exchange of bodily fluid exchange.

Another difference is that all of the infections mentioned here are totally curable with adequate treatment. While some STIs are curable (gonorrhea, syphilis, chlamydia, trichomoniasis, and pubic lice), there are also some viral STIs that can be treated, but cannot be cured.

However, all genitals infections can be asymptomatic. Or, result in similar symptoms like itching, burning, or pain during sex or while urinating.

So…how do you know which of the genital infections you have?

Talk to your provider about your concerns and which genital (or other) infections you are worried about. Together you can come up with a plan for testing and treatment to get you feeling better as soon as possible.

Reviewed by the Ovia Health Clinical Team

Sources

• Mayo Clinic Staff. “Urinary Tract Infection (UTI).” Mayo Clinic. Mayo Clinic. October 14, 2020. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/urinary-tract-infection/symptoms-causes/syc-20353447
• Mayo Clinic Staff. “Yeast infection (vaginal).” Mayo Clinic. Mayo Clinic. March 17, 2021. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/yeast-infection/symptoms-causes/syc-20378999

Sex Ed. class 2.0

Here, we’ve rounded up five things you should have learned from sex ed. class before reading this article, but will be useful to you long after you close it.

1. It is normal and healthy to masturbate

Masturbation is not just expected by boys and men, but encouraged. Yet, common cultural narratives tell girls and women that masturbation is dirty and wrong.

Here’s the thing: Nothing could be further from the truth. For people of all genders, masturbating is both normal and healthy! Benefits of masturbating include: reduced stress, boosted mood, and increased self confidence long term. And beyond being healthy, masturbating also feels good, which is absolutely reason enough to partake!

In summary: You should have been taught that masturbation is healthy. Further, you should have been encouraged to touch yourself in whatever locations, using whatever pressures, at whatever speeds, for however long, and however often you want.

2. STIs can be transmitted during oral sex

Despite the fact that many sex education curriculums rely on fear-mongering, few programs acknowledge sex acts other than penis-in-vagina intercourse exist, and therefore do not touch on potential risks of such acts. Like, oral sex for example.

From fellatio and cunnilingus to analingus, oral sex can bring Big Time pleasure for the giver and receiver alike. Still, important to know the potential risks. Ready?

While the risk is lower than it is during vaginal or anal intercourse, an STI can be transmitted during oral sex from a mouth or throat, to a penis, vagina, vulva, or anus — and vice versa. That means that, yes, an STI can infect body parts other than the genitals.

When oral STI symptoms do appear, they may include: sore throat, pain during swallowing, sores around the lips, sores and blisters in the mouth, and swollen lymph nodes. But as is true with STIs located elsewhere in the body, the most common symptom of an oral STI is no symptom at all. And that’s why it’s so important to get tested for oral STIs, between (oral sex) partners or once a year (whichever comes first). Oral STI testing involves a simple mouth or throat, and treatment typically involves an oral antibiotic or prescription mouthwash.

What can you do to reduce risk of STI transmission during oral hanky-panky? Glad you asked. With a partner who’s STI status you don’t know or who has an STI , you can use an external condom or dental dam to reduce risk of transmission.

3. PReP can be taken by all genders

PReP (pre-exposure prophylaxis) is a daily oral medication that can be taken by HIV-negative people to greatly reduce their risks of contracting HIV, if exposed to the virus. Highly effective, PrEP is one of the best additions to the sexual health space…ever.

While there is more that can be done to spread awareness about PReP to all people, cis-women in particularly tend to be less likely to take PReP. The problem is that people of all sexual orientations, genders, and genitals are susceptible to HIV, if exposed to the virus through sex, intravenous drug use, contaminated blood transfusion, or pregnancy. In fact, globally more than half (52%) of HIV-positive people in the world are women.

No matter your gender, to figure out if you’re a good candidate for PrEP read the federal guidelines put out by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) and the World Health Organization (WHO) and/or talk to your healthcare provider.

4. Sex is not supposed to be painful

No, not the first time you have it. No, not during anal sex. No, not postpartum. Pain is the body’s way of telling you that something is wrong — and it’s a message worth listening to.

Sometimes pain during sex is a sign that you need additional lubrication or that your not-yet aroused-enough for what’s happening. In these instances, slowing down and adding lube can turn your sex session from “ouch” into “ooh!”.

When sex is consistently painful, however, or you experience these symptoms outside of sex (for example: while urinating or inserting a tampon) there may be an underlying condition. Pain during sex is a common symptom of conditions like hypertonic pelvic floor, endometriosis, vaginitis, vulvodynia, vaginismus, and pelvic inflammatory disease.

If you’re experiencing pain during sex, stop. If you want to continue having sex, try slowing down and/or add a store bought lubricant. If the pain becomes more chronic, bring it up with your healthcare provider or seek out the guidance of a trauma-informed pelvic floor specialist.

5. Consent is an informed, ongoing, and enthusiastic agreement to engage with someone that can be withdrawn at any time

As of 2020, only 9 states required consent be taught in sex education curriculum. That means that a whopping 41 states don’t teach students the importance of receiving “Y-E-S”, nor validated the decision to say “N-O” at any point during a sexual encounter.

The failure of this absence becomes obvious when looking at the responses from a recent survey of people ages 18 to 25. In it, 53% admitted that they didn’t realize that consent can be withdrawn once someone is already naked (it can!) and just 13% said they’d feel comfortable discussing consent with their sexual partner.

While the staggering sexual assault statistics cannot be blamed on any one thing — curriculums in sex ed. class suffer from widespread avoidance of consent, and it certainly isn’t doing anything to help reduce the number of people assaulted.

If you’re reading this and haven’t yet learned about consent, take the time to read The Consent Checklist by Meg-John Barker and/or Beyond Yes & No by Kai Werder.

Reviewed by the Ovia Health Clinical Team

Sources

• “Facts and figures: HIV and AIDS.” UN Women. UN Women. July 2018. https://www.unwomen.org/en/what-we-do/hiv-and-aids/facts-and-figures. 
• “Pre-exposure Prophylaxis (PrEP) Care System”. CDC. CDC. September 10, 2020. https://www.cdc.gov/hiv/effective-interventions/prevent/prep/index.html#About-PrEP.