How utilize mental health support

Having a support system in place can be a great way to make sure you’re ready for the inevitable ups and downs of life.

It doesn’t have to look like what you expect

Is there someone in your life you would feel comfortable sharing your struggles with? It doesn’t have to be the person you might feel you’re expected to turn to. Maybe the person who usually falls into the best friend category for you is a little high-strung, and opening up the question of mental health support with that person feels harder than not asking for help at all right now. That’s okay, and it doesn’t mean that person isn’t important to you. There may be someone else in your life who is a better listener, or someone who has more time for you. Maybe it’s a casual friend that can help you the most right now. You can try to turn that casual friendship into a more serious one by opening up, and sometimes this is a great opportunity.

Get specific

Asking for help is hard, and getting too specific about what kind of help you need can feel even harder, but even the people in your life who know you best can’t read your mind. If you’re having a hard time, and thinking you’ll do better reaching out and asking for help, sitting down and making a short list of exactly what might help you out – anything from a more general “please don’t ask me about,” a certain subject, “I’ll tell you when I’m ready,” to the more specific, “I need to take a break from cooking at night until things quiet down at work” – can help whoever it is you’re asking for help figure out the best way to support you.

Give a little to get a little

The strongest support system is one that’s mutually supportive. This can be tricky in moments when you’re the person who needs help, but it’s important to remember that by sharing vulnerability, you are offering friends, family, and others the chance to feel more open to sharing their own vulnerabilities or insecurities. Maybe you have that one friend who acts like a superhero, and always seems to be completely on top of things, even when their life is full of challenges and changes. It can be hard to feel comfortable sharing when you’re having trouble with a friend like that – but if you hide it every time you’re having trouble, they may feel the same way about you.

Asking for help can feel selfish, but everyone needs help at some point. If you make a point of reminding the people in your life that you’re committed to being there for them in the best way you can when it’s their turn, you’re offering the chance to deepen your relationship. Actively listening to what’s going on in the lives of the people in your support network, and doing your best to offer the kind of support they need isn’t just offering that chance, it’s taking an active part in maintaining and developing that relationship.

Think outside the box

Your support system doesn’t have to just consist of people you already know. For one thing, depending on why or how you’re starting to feel overwhelmed, talking to a therapist or looking for a support group can be a great place to get started, especially if you’re not sure how to bring the subject up with the people in your life already. Taking a step like this can make whatever you’re coping with feel more real – and sometimes that’s exactly what you need, as a reminder that your feelings are valid.

You also don’t need to talk to everyone in your life about everything that’s going on in your life. If opening up a big conversation about how you’re feeling seems out of reach, try just asking for help in a simple way. A friend may be willing to help you out if you ask them to carpool to get your toddler to dance class. Your sister may be perfectly happy to take the reins on planning the next family event.

Practice these daily routines to help with managing depression

Sometimes, it’s easy to be harder on yourself than you’d ever allow or want yourself to be with someone else, especially when you’re dealing with depression. When you feel like this, picking some of the people in your life who you love, and who love you, and trying to talk to yourself the way you’d want someone to talk to those people if they were having a hard time can be a good frame for speaking generously to yourself. Like “fake it till you make it,” the way people speak to themselves inside their heads can have a huge impact of the way they think about themselves, and the way they feel, and can easily turn into feedback loops of bad feelings. Making a point to speak to yourself kindly can help to pull you out of the loop of speaking unkindly to yourself in a way that you internalize and feel worse because of.

Some suggestions for dealing with depression – or even most of them – can feel too simple to make much difference, or so often-repeated that it can feel like they can’t possibly make a difference. It’s true that no single one of these strategies may bring an end to depression, but finding the combination that works for you, in conjunction with the type of treatment that works best with your body chemistry and lifestyle, can make a big difference in helping you start to feel better.

Get it out there

Writing in a journal can offer an outlet for getting emotions out without opening them to any judgement, and can give you a way to keep track of your thoughts and notice any patterns in them. For example, do certain thought-patterns seem to go along with more severe depressive symptoms? That’s good information to have, and so is any strategy you might notices for steering your thoughts in other directions.

For endorphins’ sake

Getting into a regular exercise schedule is one of the most common pieces of advice when it comes to managing depression, and in turn, it’s one of the most dismissed pieces of advice. It’s true that exercise isn’t a magic bullet for depression, but getting outside and moving around on a regular basis has a whole host of benefits that can contribute to starting to feeling better. Between the sun, the change of scenery, the endorphins, and the fresh air, anything from a walk around the block to training for a marathon can be a healthy part of managing depression.

Treatment

Depression is a medical condition, but there’s a lot of stigma around it. Some may mistakenly characterize it as a personal problem, and to be resistant to seeking out treatment from professionals. If depression is negatively affecting your quality of life, seek help. Medication, psychotherapy, or some combination of the two, can have a huge positive impact on your life. Just like with these informal strategies, finding the treatment plan that works well for you can take some trial and error, and figuring out how to be patient with yourself and your medical team will be an important part of the process.

Setting up a pattern

Having a strong routine in your life  can help you demonstrate to yourself what you’re capable of, especially when you’re having an especially hard time. It can help to keep self-care tasks from slipping during difficult episodes, and when depression does become severe enough to interfere with routines, having those routines set up to begin as a control can show how much is changing.

General physical health

A lack of physical health doesn’t cause depression, but it can certainly contribute to it. Making sure to eat a balanced diet, get enough sleep (but notice if you find yourself sleeping more and more often), avoiding alcohol and street drugs can help keep you in your best shape possible to combat depression.

Reach out

Often, during periods of strong depression, spending time with people can be one of the early things that gets cut out. Isolating yourself can create a feedback loop of bad feelings, though, whereas spending time with someone, even if the sound of that feels exhausting, can be a way to get out of your own head a bit. Making a point to reach out to people who feel restful or helpful to you during this time, instead of the people who may ask more from your energy reserves, can help to make social experiences during periods of depression more meaningful and positive.

Fake it till you make it

Sometimes, especially during a spell of depression, putting on a can-do attitude – even if it’s not how you feel – is a great way to get through a difficult or challenging day, from a huge family gathering to coordinating with an electrician or landlord over an unexpected wiring problem in your house, to a normal day of work at a time when you just don’t think you can do it. One of the reasons faking it till you make it works is that putting on an attitude can help to infect you with some of the feelings you’re putting on, but that benefit also comes with a caution. It’s also key for you to know and understand how you’re really feeling. Denial about depression can mean putting off making the changes that can help you feel better.

Other things to consider

Depression can make even the simplest tasks feel more challenging, and managing changes to your life, routine, and comfort zone when you’re experiencing depression can feel like an especially dangerous game. Making changes can help you feel out the shifts in your routine that can better support your changes in mood, attitude, and mental health, though. Dealing with depression means that you may be able to benefit from a certain amount of extra support, but by making changes in your own life, some of that support can come directly from you.

Signs of depression and when to talk to a doctor about it

Most people experience majority of the symptoms of depression at some point in their lives, to one degree or another, and it can be hard to tell which moods and feelings are symptoms of disorders which require treatment. For this reason, many people who do have depression or other mood disorders are diagnosed many years after noticing symptoms, or are never diagnosed or treated at all.

Watch out for these symptoms and signs of depression

There are a wide range of symptoms of depression, and some of them are physical, which can make it easier for some people to figure out how and when to reach out and ask for help. Both physical and emotional symptoms may be signs of depression if they last for two weeks or longer. Physical symptoms of depression include:

• Changes in sleep, whether that’s sleeping more often than usual, or insomnia
• A loss of appetite, or increased craving for food, causing either over- or under-eating
• A loss of sex drive
• Tiredness or lack of energy
• Aches and pains or headaches with no obvious cause

The emotional effects of depression can vary widely, from a consistent level of negative feelings all the way to feeling suicidal or hopeless. Emotional symptoms of depression can include:

• Feelings of sadness, hopelessness or feeling on the edge of tears
• Anger, irritability, or frustration, especially anger or frustration that feels excessive to events
• A loss of interest or pleasure in favorite things or interests
• Slowed thoughts, speaking and movements
• Agitation, twitchiness or restlessness
• Feelings of guilt, inability to let go of past mistakes or blame
• Thoughts of death or suicide

Thoughts of suicide should be treated as a medical emergency and you should go to your local emergency room right away.

Depression can be caused and set off by different things at different times. Sometimes depression is triggered  more by life events and stressors. Other times, it’s more determined by brain chemistry, regardless of life and stressors. Often, it’s some combination of the two. In any case, when depression affects your life, reaching out to a healthcare provider  for treatment and support is one of the best ways to start to work towards recovery.

Talking to your provider

Depression is a serious condition, and not something that one snaps out of by force of will. The earlier treatment starts, the faster and more effectively one can begin to start feeling better.

Primary care providers tend to be the first line of defense against depression. Starting the conversation about your mental health with the healthcare provider you’re the most comfortable with is never a bad idea, but it’s also good to remember that most PCPs don’t specialize in mental health treatment, and mental health providers like psychiatrists can be fantastic resources as you start to figure out what your needs around treatment are.

We meditated with Faith Hunter, learned about the importance of sleep with Angela Holliday-Bell, and participated in a healing, positive affirmation exercise with Leasa Wright.

Here are the most important moments from the event, hosted by Denise Albert, in case you weren’t able to attend.

A short, guided meditation session on how to help reduce stress with Faith Hunter

Breath work gives us the ability to center ourselves. Faith led us in a breathing exercise that you can do at home, here’s how:

• Take your right hand, close your index and middle finger towards your palm
• Take your right thumb and use it to close your right nostril 
• Breath in through your left nostril
• Close off your left nostril with your ring finder 
• Release your right nostril 
• Exhale through your right nostril
• Inhale through your right nostril
• Close it off
• Exhale through your left nostril
• Inhale through your left nostril
• Repeat

Stress management and self-care with Dinah Eke, Amanda McKay, and Brooke Davis 

Dinah, Amanda, and Brooke discussed the importance of taking small moments in the middle of the day to be mindful. Check in with yourself: How are you feeling? Are you drinking enough water? Are you getting a little movement? Are you getting outside? Take a little time for yourself.

When it comes to practical ways to destress, there are two options: address the stress head-on or escape it through distraction.

Dinah offered some advice about the way list-making helps her de-stress. Just writing down the thoughts that are leading to stress can makes it feel more manageable. And when you just need to escape the stress, Amanda recommends distracting yourself away by getting outside, listening to a podcast, or just laying down for a moment. 

And remember, it’s OK to bring other people into the conversation. Ask for help from family and friends. Ask for flexibility from your manager.

Wellness check with Elaine Bishop

Signs that you are experiencing an amount of stress that could be damaging to your mental health:

• Overwhelming feelings of sadness 
• Difficulty enjoying things you used to enjoy
• Relationship changes: are you having more trouble reading other people’s social signals? Are you declining social invitations more than usual?
• Appetite changes: Are you experiencing significant increased or decreased appetite?
• Substance use: Are you turning to drink more often than before? Are you developing feelings of dependence?
• Thoughts of harming yourself 

If you are feeling any of these feelings, know that there is help. Try contacting the National Alliance on Mental Illness either by phone at: 1800-950-6264 or by email at: info@nami.org.

Tips from physician and sleep specialist, Dr. Holliday-Bell

The first step to getting better sleep is prioritizing better sleep. Better sleep helps reduce stress. Dr. Holliday-Bell outlined a few specific tips:

• Decide on a bedtime and wake time
• Stick to a consistent schedule (weekends count too!)
• Create a relaxing, 30-60 min bedtime routine
• Keep your bedroom dark, quiet, and cool
• Master a relaxation technique (like deep breathing)

Breath work and affirmation practice with Leasa Wright 

We closed out Stressless Fest with a series of affirmations from Leasa Wright. To try and reduce stress levels, practice this at home. Close your eyes and think of a happy memory or a happy place. Then repeat out loud to yourself:

• I live in my truth
• I boldly and freely express myself
• I follow my dreams
• I welcome goodness; I welcome love 

This may feel uncomfortable at first, but after a few rounds of these affirmations, the Stressless Fest attendees felt calmer, lighter, and more confident. We hope you will too!

Sponsored by Airwick, Enfamil, and Beyond Yoga 

By Gabrielle Kassel, Contributing writer

PSA: Sexually transmitted infections are not the only infections that can make home in or on your genital area. Yeast infections, bacterial vaginosis, and urinary tract infections are all totally curable infections that can people can get, even if they’ve never ever had sex. Really!

Important things to consider about genital infections

Read on to learn more about the three types of infections — including intel on how they differ from sexually transmitted infections also found in genital areas.

What is a urinary tract infection?

A urinary tract infection takes place when bacteria (usually E. coli) gets lodged in the urethra, occasionally traveling up the urinary tract to the bladder and/or kidneys.

What causes UTIs, exactly? Anytime outsider bacteria gets introduced to the urethra, there’s risk for infection. This could happen in a number of ways, including through sex. A UTI could also be caused from bacteria from the anus being brought forward towards the urethra, for example while wiping or during sex.

While people of all genitals can get UTIs, urinary tract infections are far more common in those with vaginas than penises because the urethra is so much shorter. This means that the distance the bacteria has to travel in order to get to the bladder is shorter, increasing the odds that the infectious agent makes it to the infection-site.

Common symptoms include:

• Frequent urination
• Pain or discomfort while urinating
• Urine that is cloudy or pink in color
• Lower abdominal or pelvic pain or cramping
• Rectal pain

A UTI can be diagnosed with a quick urine sample — for more information on how to properly collect a urine same, head here. If tested-positive, your healthcare provider will prescribe a round of antibiotics which will begin to clear the infection up in as little as 24 to 72 hours. The type of antibiotics will vary based on the type of bacteria found in the sample, as well as the location (urethra, bladder, or kidneys) of the infection.

What is a yeast infection?

Also known as candidiasis, a yeast infection occurs when there is an overgrowth of the fungi “candida” in the body.

Anybody can get a yeast infection. But those with vaginas are far (far!) more likely to be infected — nearly 75% will have a yeast infection at least once in their lifetime. Less than 1% of those with pensises will get a yeast infection in their lifetime.

The health of the internal canal of the vagina is regulated by something called the vaginal microbiome which is made up of millions of bacteria, yeast, and fungi that work the vagina’s bodyguard and janitorial staff, keeping the it clean while also warding off infectious pathogens.

When the vaginal microbiome becomes disrupted — which can occur from a variety of things including antibiotic use, pregnancy, uncontrolled diabetes, sitting in wet or sweaty clothes, oral contraceptives, interaction with another person’s natural genital bacteria, or use fragrant body washes — the owner becomes susceptible to a yeast infection.

Common symptoms include:

• Cottage-cheese-textured discharge
• Itching and irritation on the vulva, penis, or taint, or inside vaginal canal
• Pain or burning while urinating or during sex
• Redness, swelling, or irritation

Yeast infections can be diagnosed with a pelvic exam or lab test. Usually, they can be cured with a one to seven day regimen of anti-fungal topical or oral medication. However, if left untreated long enough the infection can travel elsewhere in the body and require a more rigorous course of treatment to be eliminated.

What is bacterial vaginosis?

Bacterial vaginosis names the condition in which there is an overgrowth of certain bacteria in the vaginal microbiome. As the name suggests, BV is a condition that only affects those with vaginas.

Similar to yeast infections, anything that upsets the vaginal microbiome can result in BV. However, things like douching, having sex with someone new, using fragrant washes and detergents, and smoking can all increase the risk.

Common symptoms include:

• Fishy or foul smelling odor
• Thin or loose discharge
• Vaginal or vulvar itching
• Burning while peeing

Bacterial vaginosis can be diagnosed through a pelvic exam, vaginal secretion or vaginal pH test. To treat bacterial vaginosis, your healthcare provider may prescribe an oral or intravaginal cream that should clear up the infection within a few days.

How are these infections different from STIs?

The main difference is how the infections are classified. Yeast infections, bacterial vaginosis, and UTIs are not classified as STIs.

While sex can increase risk of yeast infection, bacterial vaginosis, and UTIs, they are not considered sexually transmitted infections because they are not infections transmitted from one person to another. All sexually transmitted infections are strictly transmitted from an STI-positive person, to someone who is not positive for that STI through direct skin-to-skin contact or through exchange of bodily fluid exchange.

Another difference is that all of the infections mentioned here are totally curable with adequate treatment. While some STIs are curable (gonorrhea, syphilis, chlamydia, trichomoniasis, and pubic lice), there are also some viral STIs that can be treated, but cannot be cured.

However, all genitals infections can be asymptomatic. Or, result in similar symptoms like itching, burning, or pain during sex or while urinating.

So…how do you know which of the genital infections you have?

Talk to your provider about your concerns and which genital (or other) infections you are worried about. Together you can come up with a plan for testing and treatment to get you feeling better as soon as possible.

Reviewed by the Ovia Health Clinical Team

Sources

• Mayo Clinic Staff. “Urinary Tract Infection (UTI).” Mayo Clinic. Mayo Clinic. October 14, 2020. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/urinary-tract-infection/symptoms-causes/syc-20353447
• Mayo Clinic Staff. “Yeast infection (vaginal).” Mayo Clinic. Mayo Clinic. March 17, 2021. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/yeast-infection/symptoms-causes/syc-20378999

Sex Ed. class 2.0

Here, we’ve rounded up five things you should have learned from sex ed. class before reading this article, but will be useful to you long after you close it.

1. It is normal and healthy to masturbate

Masturbation is not just expected by boys and men, but encouraged. Yet, common cultural narratives tell girls and women that masturbation is dirty and wrong.

Here’s the thing: Nothing could be further from the truth. For people of all genders, masturbating is both normal and healthy! Benefits of masturbating include: reduced stress, boosted mood, and increased self confidence long term. And beyond being healthy, masturbating also feels good, which is absolutely reason enough to partake!

In summary: You should have been taught that masturbation is healthy. Further, you should have been encouraged to touch yourself in whatever locations, using whatever pressures, at whatever speeds, for however long, and however often you want.

2. STIs can be transmitted during oral sex

Despite the fact that many sex education curriculums rely on fear-mongering, few programs acknowledge sex acts other than penis-in-vagina intercourse exist, and therefore do not touch on potential risks of such acts. Like, oral sex for example.

From fellatio and cunnilingus to analingus, oral sex can bring Big Time pleasure for the giver and receiver alike. Still, important to know the potential risks. Ready?

While the risk is lower than it is during vaginal or anal intercourse, an STI can be transmitted during oral sex from a mouth or throat, to a penis, vagina, vulva, or anus — and vice versa. That means that, yes, an STI can infect body parts other than the genitals.

When oral STI symptoms do appear, they may include: sore throat, pain during swallowing, sores around the lips, sores and blisters in the mouth, and swollen lymph nodes. But as is true with STIs located elsewhere in the body, the most common symptom of an oral STI is no symptom at all. And that’s why it’s so important to get tested for oral STIs, between (oral sex) partners or once a year (whichever comes first). Oral STI testing involves a simple mouth or throat, and treatment typically involves an oral antibiotic or prescription mouthwash.

What can you do to reduce risk of STI transmission during oral hanky-panky? Glad you asked. With a partner who’s STI status you don’t know or who has an STI , you can use an external condom or dental dam to reduce risk of transmission.

3. PReP can be taken by all genders

PReP (pre-exposure prophylaxis) is a daily oral medication that can be taken by HIV-negative people to greatly reduce their risks of contracting HIV, if exposed to the virus. Highly effective, PrEP is one of the best additions to the sexual health space…ever.

While there is more that can be done to spread awareness about PReP to all people, cis-women in particularly tend to be less likely to take PReP. The problem is that people of all sexual orientations, genders, and genitals are susceptible to HIV, if exposed to the virus through sex, intravenous drug use, contaminated blood transfusion, or pregnancy. In fact, globally more than half (52%) of HIV-positive people in the world are women.

No matter your gender, to figure out if you’re a good candidate for PrEP read the federal guidelines put out by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) and the World Health Organization (WHO) and/or talk to your healthcare provider.

4. Sex is not supposed to be painful

No, not the first time you have it. No, not during anal sex. No, not postpartum. Pain is the body’s way of telling you that something is wrong — and it’s a message worth listening to.

Sometimes pain during sex is a sign that you need additional lubrication or that your not-yet aroused-enough for what’s happening. In these instances, slowing down and adding lube can turn your sex session from “ouch” into “ooh!”.

When sex is consistently painful, however, or you experience these symptoms outside of sex (for example: while urinating or inserting a tampon) there may be an underlying condition. Pain during sex is a common symptom of conditions like hypertonic pelvic floor, endometriosis, vaginitis, vulvodynia, vaginismus, and pelvic inflammatory disease.

If you’re experiencing pain during sex, stop. If you want to continue having sex, try slowing down and/or add a store bought lubricant. If the pain becomes more chronic, bring it up with your healthcare provider or seek out the guidance of a trauma-informed pelvic floor specialist.

5. Consent is an informed, ongoing, and enthusiastic agreement to engage with someone that can be withdrawn at any time

As of 2020, only 9 states required consent be taught in sex education curriculum. That means that a whopping 41 states don’t teach students the importance of receiving “Y-E-S”, nor validated the decision to say “N-O” at any point during a sexual encounter.

The failure of this absence becomes obvious when looking at the responses from a recent survey of people ages 18 to 25. In it, 53% admitted that they didn’t realize that consent can be withdrawn once someone is already naked (it can!) and just 13% said they’d feel comfortable discussing consent with their sexual partner.

While the staggering sexual assault statistics cannot be blamed on any one thing — curriculums in sex ed. class suffer from widespread avoidance of consent, and it certainly isn’t doing anything to help reduce the number of people assaulted.

If you’re reading this and haven’t yet learned about consent, take the time to read The Consent Checklist by Meg-John Barker and/or Beyond Yes & No by Kai Werder.

Reviewed by the Ovia Health Clinical Team

Sources

• “Facts and figures: HIV and AIDS.” UN Women. UN Women. July 2018. https://www.unwomen.org/en/what-we-do/hiv-and-aids/facts-and-figures. 
• “Pre-exposure Prophylaxis (PrEP) Care System”. CDC. CDC. September 10, 2020. https://www.cdc.gov/hiv/effective-interventions/prevent/prep/index.html#About-PrEP. 

How to build a support system when trying to conceive

For these reasons, and many more, it’s meaningful to have a strong support network in place. Strong social support networks can be hugely beneficial for both your physical and mental health. These networks will help you better deal with stress and feel a sense of comfort and security along the way, and these networks can come in many forms.

Healthcare providers

Everyone’s TTC journey is different. For some it’s easy, for others it’s a bit more challenging. To have a meaningful network of healthcare providers who can help you along the way will be immensely helpful.

Whether you are working with an OB/GYN, a general practitioner, or a midwife, these professionals can make sure that you’re in the best possible state for TTC. This can mean ensuring that you’re receiving high-quality care based on your particular health and medical history, answering any questions or concerns you might have about the TTC process, and monitoring your health along the way.

These might be professionals you went to before TTC or they might be individuals who you’ve just started seeing. Regardless of how long your history is with them, they’re the experts that can provide you with the medical support and knowledge you need while TTC.

How to cultivate and maintain a good relationship with your provider? Ask questions, be honest, and stay engaged with your healthcare. 

Loved ones

Friends and family, near and far, in-person or via your favorite social networks – keeping those you love close can be extremely important during this time. While you certainly had these folks in your life prior to TTC, you might be surprised how your relationships with them can deepen and change as you begin your TTC journey.

You might find that you’re very candid with loved ones about your TTC experience – and even find that they open up with you about their own TTC experience in surprising ways – or you might find that you just want to lean on and rely on them to provide the love and support – or even just the laughter – that they normally would anyway.

Whether you call up your mother for some general advice or get into the nitty gritty of TTC with your best friends, it can be meaningful to have these support networks. Regardless of how much or how little you share, you’ll want to nurture these relationships; these individuals can serve as a huge reserve of emotional support. And if things do get stressful, having this social support will actually buoy you and allow you to better handle your stress in a more resilient way than you would be able to without such a network.

How to cultivate and maintain a good relationship with your loved ones? Show and communicate that you appreciate their love and support.

Other folks who are TTC

If some of your loved ones are going through the same thing as you – say a cousin who just started trying to conceive herself or an old friend from college going through IVF –  support can be doubly meaningful. But if you don’t have anyone else in your current support network who is going through the TTC process presently, you might find it meaningful to reach out to and become part of a network of folks who are.

Having other people in your life who are also dealing with this very specific life stage can be hugely beneficial. You can find both formal and informal communities – both in-person and online – that can make for meaningful support networks, and you may be able to find a camaraderie in this community that you couldn’t find elsewhere. For many individuals and many couples, this helps them just not feel quite so alone in the process.

Whether it’s to discuss the finer points of basal body temperature, ask for doctor recommendations, or just vent, you might be surprised by just how helpful you find this sort of a community. How to cultivate and maintain a good relationship with these peers? Stay in touch and be supportive of them too.

Once you do get pregnant, this kind of support network can become even more invaluable as you continue on into the next stage of your journey! Indeed, these relationships won’t end with a positive pregnancy test, but will likely grow and develop in new ways.

Healthcare providers will help guide you through pregnancy, family members will be there to help paint a nursery or assemble a bassinet, and other pregnant moms will be there to chat about weird cravings or stubborn back pain. These networks can provide you with invaluable support through all of the ups and downs that may come with trying to conceive.

Sources

• Mayo Clinic Staff. “Social support: Tap this tool to beat stress.” Mayo Clinic. Mayo Foundation for Medical Education and Research, April 16 2015. Retrieved August 28 2017. http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/social-support/art-20044445?pg=1.
• Fatih Ozbay et al. “Social support and resilience to stress: From Neurobiology to Clinical Practice.” Psychiatry. 4(5): 35–40. May 2007. Retrieved August 28 2017. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2921311/.
• “Manage stress: Strengthen your support network.” American Psychological Association. American Psychological Association. Retrieved August 28 2017. http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/emotional-support.aspx.

Miscarriage support options

For women who are struggling after they miscarry, support is crucial to help them while they grieve. There are a few different types of support for women who experience this unique and difficult type of loss.

Partner

Partners struggle with miscarriage, too, and relationships can change as people grieve or struggle differently after an unexpected loss. Talking to a partner after miscarriage is helpful for a relationship, as well as for the healing process. It may be hard to start the conversation at first, but there are a number of online resources that have specialized advice for this.

Friend or family member

Women often find support among friends or family members, especially ones who have prior experiences with miscarriage because they’ll be the most understanding of the situation.

Provider

Women might not be able to stop thinking about their loss, or they might be experiencing mood disturbances, anxiety, or depressive feelings. In these cases, it can be immensely helpful for them to talk to their provider about these feelings. A provider can provide a referral to a psychologist or psychiatrist for further help.

While some women may be hesitant to seek professional help during this period, it’s important to know that it’s completely normal to need or want this kind of support after pregnancy loss.

Online support groups

While it isn’t a good idea to get one’s medical information solely from the internet, a lot of women find emotional support after a miscarriage through online support groups. It’s an easy way to find and connect with like-minded people who may be able to relate to how a woman is feeling after this experience.

Offline, in-person support groups

Other women prefer to find in-person miscarriage support groups. These groups encourage women to share their experiences with miscarriage, and they help women connect with each other in spite of their pain. Hospitals and healthcare providers can usually refer women to these kinds of groups.

The experience of a miscarriage varies widely among women. One factor that doesn’t vary, though, is the necessity of support throughout a miscarriage. No matter how early or late a woman is in her pregnancy, and no matter how the miscarriage happens or what kind of emotional impact it has on a woman, it’s important for women to feel supported – both medically and emotionally – during and after this experience.

Sources

• Elizabeth Leis-Newman. “Miscarriage and loss.” APA. American Psychological Association, Jun 2017. Web.
• “Questions about Grief.” NationalShare. Share: Pregnancy and Infant Loss Support, n.d. Web.
• Anette Kersting, MD. “Complicated grief after perinatal loss.” Dialogues Clin Neurosci. 14(2): 187–194. Web. Jun 2012.

Coping after a miscarriage

According to Mayo Clinic, stages of grief include feelings of shock, denial, guilt, anger, sadness and depression, jealousy, and yearning for a lost pregnancy. It’s not abnormal for women who have experienced a miscarriage to feel these emotions. There also isn’t any particular order or length to these feelings; women may experience any of these difficult emotions, in any order, for any amount of time.

Consider these ways to heal

People cope with loss in different ways, and what works for one person might not work for another. But there are a few things that might help women as they grieve a miscarriage.

Find support

There are online and in-person support groups for mothers who have experienced a miscarriage. Many women find these groups to be immensely helpful while they grieve. If you’re interested in finding a support group, your healthcare provider will be able to provide you with more information.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help

In most cases, people want to offer their help, but those who haven’t experienced a miscarriage won’t know exactly what they can do to make things feel better for a grieving individual or couple. It might be uncomfortable at first, but women who are grieving should let friends and family know what they need, no matter how small or big it seems.

Allow yourself to grieve

At any point in pregnancy, miscarriage can have an intense emotional impact on a woman. No pregnancy is too short to grieve after a pregnancy loss. Grief can’t be controlled; it can only be managed healthily as someone moves forward in life. Women who have had a miscarriage should embrace whatever feeling comes after the experience in order to process the loss.

Move at one’s your pace

Everyone heals at their own speed, and there’s no amount of time that is ‘too long’ to be sad about a miscarriage.

Chat with a professional

While friends and family are a wonderful resource, sometimes talking to a trained counselor can be a really helpful exercise. Your provider can recommend a psychologist or mental health counselor for you if you need. Even just going to one or two sessions can sometimes provide healing and clarity to women who are struggling with loss.

If daily life gets too difficult, talk to your provider ASAP

Sometimes grief can overcome a person and make it hard for them to do daily tasks or take care of themselves. Women who start to feel hopeless about the future, who are struggling with their emotions, who feel depressed for long periods of time or who think about harming themselves should talk to their healthcare provider. He or she can help find a therapist or a psychiatrist who will support these women on their healing journey.

Every case is different

It’s impossible to know in advance what will best help someone heal. It’s also completely okay for someone to try a few different things before finding out what coping method helps them feel the best after a miscarriage. Over time, things will get easier, and healing will continue to happen.

Sources

• “Pregnancy loss: How to cope.” MayoClinic. Mayo Foundation for Medical Education and Research, Jun 25 2016. Web.
• Elizabeth Leis-Newman. “Miscarriage and loss.” American Psychological Association Monitor on Psychology. 43(6)56. Web. June 2012.